Nerves {An Ereri Fanfiction} REWRITTEN FROM ORIGINAL

Troubled

            Eren lay on his bed for hours. Only earlier had he learned how much he actually cared about the raven named Levi. Now that he had said it all out loud, even if it was only to Jean, he realized how true it was. It had been a while since he'd liked anyone, the last literally being Jean when they had a brief fling their junior year of high school, but both boys chalked it up to being horny gays in smaller school. These feelings had Eren uneasy and confused. Wasn't it too soon to fall for somebody? It had only been, what, maybe three weeks?

            Just as he was about to head over to his desk, there was a brief knock on his door. When he answer, Armin stood there. The little blonde coconut smiled widely, his blue eyes large. "Hey, Eren! I was on my way out but figured I'd stop by to let you know we're all planning on getting lunch tomorrow at the student center. Join us!"

            The taller boy pretended to think about it, fingers at his chin and one eyebrow raised. "I might be able to open up my schedule..."

            Armin quickly huffed, smacking Eren on the arm gently, "Come on, jerk. You're never busy." Eren laughed at his small friend, nodding along.

            "I need a smoke break, want to sit and chat with me?" Armin made a distasteful face at the smoking part of it but agreed, nonetheless. He followed Eren outside to Eren's favorite bench, taking a seat next to him. They talked for a bit before silence fell over them. He figured talking to Armin would help him shake the Levi thing from his thoughts, but it did nothing. It just made him think of all the times they'd sat at this bench in the last couple weeks and the time Levi had even shared body heat with him.

            "...-ren. Eren? Erennnn!" Armin's poking and voice snapped Eren out of his thoughts, startling him.

            "Sorry, yeah, Armin?"

            The blonde's face showed slight concern, making Eren feel bad for worrying him, "You were super zoned out. You've been like that the last couple of days, are you okay? Has Levi been bothering you? I thought you guys were good! Or is it your classes?" The whole scenario made Eren want to laugh. Armin has always been a worrisome person. He'd fret over small things, especially concerning grades and his friends. He cared so much about them to the point his was the mom friend. Mikasa was the aggressive, silent mom, while Armin was the terrified first-time mom.

            Eren looked at his hands holding the last cigarette from his pack. It slowly burned away while he chose his words carefully. Did he want to let Armin in on it? He knew Armin would freak out once he told him, Levi scared him half to death just by looking at him. After a minute or so of silence, he let out his breath and exhaled the puff he'd taken.

            "You could say he's been bothering me." Armin turned quickly, grabbing Eren's arm.

            "What do you mean?! Has he been harassing you? I really thought you guys were on good terms! I thought I'd seen you together today, even!" Armin's impossibly large eyes seemed to grow even bigger, his eyebrows damn near shooting up his forehead. Eren looked at his friend softly; he would be forever grateful for how much his friend cared about him. He heard the door behind them close but paid no mind, instead using the sound to bring him back to reality again.

            "No, Levi's fine. He hasn't done anything to me. Well, on purpose anyways. I don't think he even knows what he has done." Eren took hit the last bit of his cigarette before snuffing it out on the concert and tossing it away.

            Now, it was Armin's turn to be confused, "On purpose? What do you mean?"

            Eren let out a sad laugh, leaning his head back on the bench and looking at the stars. He always seemed to make it out here just as night fell; not that he minded, of course.

            "I think I like him, Armin. I fucked up and I think I fell for him."

            Armin gasped quietly, his prior worry fading a bit. He was still worried for his best friend but not to the same extent. "Oh, Eren, how did you find that out?"

            This time, Eren actually did laugh, "By talking to Jean, of all people! Who'd have imagined the horse was actually useful."

            The blonde leaned next to Eren, looking up at the sky with him, "Well, how does he make you feel?"

            The words brought Eren to silence. There was so much he didn't understand about his own feelings and putting them into words was even harder.

            "I'm not sure. I feel like I want to be near him all the time, despite him not wanting me there. I want to hear his voice more. I want to draw him more. Earlier, I asked what his favorite things were, and I think what made me think about this shit more is that all I could think was, 'I want to be your favorite thing.' Armin, what do I do?"

            Sighing, Armin looked at him, eyes sad, "I don't know, man. He's hard to read and he's hard to get close to, that much I can tell. Not to mention he's incredibly scary. I don't have any way to help you. Do you want to be with him, or-" Armin's sudden intake of breath made Eren look over to him quickly. His friend's face was pale, and he was staring at something past Eren.

            "Armin? What's-" Eren looked behind himself and spotted the very last person he wanted to see at this moment. Only feet away, a black haired, pale skinned man stood leaning against the wall with a blank face and a helmet in his hand. Now he knew why Armin stopped speaking suddenly.

            Levi looked at them, realizing they'd finally noticed them. His face remained empty as he regarded them. Eren liked him? What the hell could have possibly possessed this kind, outgoing guy to fall for an introverted asshole like himself? And why does hearing all of this make Levi's chest ache?

            Eren stood slowly, hand clenching his other arm anxiously, "Um, hey, Levi. How much did you hear just now?"

            The raven continued to stare; his eyes lifeless. Several painful minutes went by, make Eren cringe inwardly more and more as Armin looked uncomfortably between the two of them, "Eren, I'm going to head off. Text me tomorrow, okay?" Eren nodded minutely, still watching Levi from the bench. They stood for a bit longer, the silence getting worse as time passed. Eren had chosen to look down at his feet as he crossed his arms.

            "Please say something." His voice was quiet, the hurt evident in it. Eren knew he'd heard him confess his feelings. Now he just needed to know if Levi was going to downright reject him or if he was going to beat the shit out of him. As it turns out, Levi would do neither.

            Levi met his eyes slowly, taking a deep breath, "Why would you say that?"

            Eren looked up, mouth open and stuttering, "What do you mean? Why else would I say it?"

            He took steps toward him, only a few feet away now. "No, what I mean is why the fuck would you like me? Do you know how stupid that is?"

            This upset Eren. How could it be stupid? And which part is he referring to? Liking him, specifically, or his feelings in general?

            "How the hell is that stupid, Levi? Why are you being such a dick suddenly?"

Levi's face contorted into anger suddenly, bounding the last couple of feet to get in Eren's face, his hand gripping the helmet tightly like he would either throw it or hit him with it. "Because that is what I am, Jaeger! I'm a fucking asshole with no concern for other people's feelings who only cares about himself! What part of that fucking fact do you not understand? Why can you not get it through your thick skull, huh?"

            Levi's words cut through Eren. While looking into the raven's sharp eyes, scrunched eyebrows, and downturned mouth, he realized this is truly what the man thought of himself. Levi truly thought he was like that.
          
            "If you cared only about yourself and truly gave no concerns for others, then why does my little confession bother you so damn much, answer me that." Eren looked at him hard, anger coursing through him now. No matter how much he wanted to rationalize Levi's behavior, he had a quick temper and wouldn't even begin to be able to think about this until he calmed down. All he could see was Levi getting in his face being a major jackass at eight o'clock a night.

            Levi's mouth dropped open, words not making it out. His face hardened and he straight up, "Get over it, Brat. Stop liking me immediately."  He turned to stomp away from the dorm, but Eren wasn't having it. All he could see was anger clouding his mind. He walked quickly after Levi and grabbed his sleeve, throwing him around.

            "They were fucking right about you. You do just fuck with feelings, don't you? Bet you got a fucking kick out of this. So, you know what, Levi? Fuck you. I don't have time for your bullshit. I could handle your punch because you just made a quick judgement to protect your sister. I could handle your little snarky ass attitude because I knew it was just what you're like. But this? I won't let you mentally fuck me over just because you want to. So forget this shit, fuck being 'friends.'"

Eren turned at the last word, heading back to his dorm. Levi could only stand there, eyes wide and mouth open again. He didn't even get a chance to say anything before Eren disappeared into the lit building, leaving the man behind. The raven wanted to run after him and correct him. He'd never, ever taken pleasure in hurting somebody else like that. Giving someone a good punch was always, always because they deserved it. He had zero tolerance for bullying and assholes. But to fuck with somebody's mind and happiness just for his own disgusting pleasure was something he'd never even consider.

            Numb, he made his way to the parking garage. The garage was dark and smelled like nasty cigarettes as usual. He could hear some couple talking on one of the floors above him, the girls high pitched laughing ringing throughout it. They were probably drunk. Levi slowly got into the elevator, up to the third floor where his bike sat. Yeah, he knew when he first got the bike that it wouldn't be the best mode of transportation whenever he and Mikasa had to go home or he had to go shopping, but for small trips he could take backpacks to the store and Mikasa usually took their bags in her car when they went home for breaks. When summer came, their dad usually had to drive up with a trailer for his bike so they could load his dorm stuff into the vehicle but that was only twice a year.

            He found the sleek, black Ninja 1000 sitting in the corner as always. After fastening the helmet on his head and slipping the gloves from his pocket onto his hands, he climbed on, turning the machine on. He revved it a couple times, loving the soft purr under him from it. Riding always gave him relief, the feeling of going seventy, eighty, ninety miles an hour down empty highways was as close as he could get to being free. He slowly pulls out of the spot and makes his way down the floors and out onto the street, the lamps outside already on.

            Turn left, grocery store. Turn right, empty roads. Right it is.

            Levi took his right, heading towards the highway that he'd grown to love. He did this whenever something would stress him out, specifically exams or projects, so he'd grown to know his way. He took the on ramp and sped up quickly, easily reaching eighty-five mph. There was only a couple cars every once in a while, but he passed them with no problem, leaving them behind. He just rides for what feels like hours, the cool air chilling him even through his padded jacket. Why could he not feel like this all the time?

            After a bit, he finally takes an exit to get back to the school. He pulls up to the stop sign at the end of it, breathing deeply. There was not a car to be seen, it seemed. Levi looked out, and pulled away, turning down the backroad he knew would get him back the quickest. It was dark and sort of creepy, but it would shave off a solid 5 minutes from the normal ride. He was tired and at this point, he just wanted to go to bed and forget today happened. Forget about Eren, and Eren, and more Eren.

            The raven is pulling up to a sharper turn, knowing to slow down as usual. This corner was known for having accidents because people would take it too quick and either slide out, roll, or hit someone coming the other way simply because they couldn't see the other side. Just as he's about to hit the end, he hears it.

There's lights suddenly in front of him and honking, and Levi yanks himself and his bike to the side of the road, the bike going out from under him and both of them sliding into the dirt and grass. He hears what he thinks is someone yelling Asshole!, but he can't tell over the soreness of his scraped-up knees and banged up head. He thanks whoever it is up above that nothing feels broken and he had a helmet. Levi slowly sits up, head pounding from when it hit the ground, and looks to his beautiful bike. The poor girl is laying sideways, still running, gas leaking out. He quickly shuffles to his knees to turn her off, so a fire doesn't start.

            Levi looks it over, noticing one of the foot petals bent and the right handle where his kill switch and accelerator sit is 100% broken and hanging by wires. Levi groans loudly, pissed off as anything. The bike wasn't fucking cheap and now it's most likely totaled. Fuck whoever made sports bikes so breakable. He sits back and loosens his legs up; might as well get comfortable since he has no ride now. The beaten-up man takes the helmet off, hissing as the feeling of it squeezing his head. After he sets it to the side, he brings his phone out, glad it hadn't broken in his fall. He knows he needs to call someone to get him home, but who?

            Not Mikasa. She would kill him and never let him get on another one again. Not Hanji, she's not got a car. Not his parents or the cops, not a fucking chance. The only other person he could think of was Eren, who Levi was pretty sure hated him now.

He pressed call without thinking and put it up to his ear. It rang and rang and rang. When Levi thought it was about to go to voicemail, the boy with the blue and green eyes picked up. He heard a deep sigh on the other side, making him physically cringe. Why had he even called? He'd be better off walking.

            Levi was about to hang up when the boy finally spoke, "What do you want, Levi? Want to rub it in my face some more?" Eren sounded hurt and just hearing his voice like that made Levi feel ill. Had he actually caused him that pain?

            The shorted man stayed silent for a second, unsure what to say. Finally, he gave up and slouched down onto his knees, the pain in his head forcing him to admit the problem, "I need help."

            He heard Eren scoff, blankets rustling. Knowing he probably woke Eren up just to piss him off made him feel even worse, "Yeah, no kidding. Doesn't take a scientist to figure it out. Bye, Levi-"

            Levi's head shot up, causing him to hiss and clutch his hair, "Wait, Eren! I'm serious. I need help, like now." Once the pain subsided a bit, he took a deep breath and focused on his bloody knees, "Please."

            It was like Eren could hear his pain over the phone, his voice softer the next time he spoke, "Are you okay, Levi? What's going on?"

            Levi was in the middle of pulling the shredding rips of his pants from his knees, blood staining them and dirt stinging the wounds, "I wrecked my bike. Some jackasses took a turn to sharp and I had to hit the road and I'm stuck here." When he finished, he heard a much louder shuffling and Eren muttering curses under his breath.

            "Shit, Levi, why didn't you start with that!? Are you okay?" Eren could be heard grabbing his keys and closing his door as he ran out to his own car.

            "I'm fine, I think. Just a bit worse for wear but nothing I can't handle."

            "Damn it, Levi. Just text me the nearest address, I'm on my way there. I'll be there in ten, okay? Just stay out of the road and keep a light shining so no animals get near you and so I can find you."

            Levi agreed and they hung up so Eren could drive. Levi stood and walked over to sit on the edge of his bike while he waited. There was no point getting it sitting up when he knew he wouldn't be getting it home tonight. Nobody he knew drove a truck or had a trailer so his baby would be spending the night out here. Levi could only hope nobody would steal it due to its condition.

            Twenty minutes pass by before Levi sees headlights turn the corner slowly. The car pulls off to the side, hazards flashing, before the door opens and Eren jumps out, running to Levi.

            Eren's concern shows plainly on his face, making Levi look away in embarrassment. He bent down to Levi's level, looking at his face. As usual, he looked exhausted. If not more than usual, actually.


            After conducting his examination, Eren runs his hands through his hair, frustration evident. "Come on, Levi. Let's get you back. I can ask Jean tomorrow to help me get your bike back, he's got a truck, but for now I want to get you home."

            Levi nodded silently, following him and getting in the passenger seat of the little black Cruze. When Eren started driving, it was silent. The tension got to be too much for Levi, so he knew he had to say something. Anything.

"Do you hate me?" Well, maybe not THAT but close enough.

Eren glanced at Levi in his peripherals, seeing the way he leaned heavily against the glance, his hands open in his lap. "No. I could never hate you."

            Levi seemed to sag in relief when the brunette said this. Had he actually believed Eren hated him? Yeah, he was mad, but he knew deep down that there was more to why Levi pushed him away so abruptly. Levi had said it himself in the bathroom that one day, he doesn't play with feelings. Just what was going on inside his head?

            Levi mumbled after a minute or so passed, his voice weak and almost scared, "Do you... still like me?"

            A chuckle escaped Eren before he could stop it, a hand shooting up to cover his mouth. Levi's head whipped around, face bright red and nose scrunched up. He looked forward and reached for his seat belt.

            "Never mind, I'm leaving." Eren laughed more at his dramatics, reaching his own hand and stopping Levi from undoing the door. He grabbed his hand and pulled him back over. He pulled up to a stop sign and quickly leaned over to grab the seatbelt and buckle him back in. When he looked back up, he met with Levi whose sharp grey eyes had grown to comic proportions. Levi had turned even more red in the two seconds they sat there.

            Eren could only smile gently, tilting his head in a birdlike fashion, "Yes, I still like you, Levi."

            In all honesty, this was the most emotion Eren had ever seen on Levi's face. The raven's eyebrows came together, a small pout on his lips, and his eyes were nearly closed. Eren couldn't tell if he was sad or hurt. Then, Levi leaned his forehead against Eren's.

            "Please don't stop."

Oh, Levi. I don't think I'd even be able to stop.

Word count: 3,510