The Imperishable Flame⎪✓

❨03❩

♀︎

Finishing the assignment, I'm quick to email it to my professor. My fingers ache from the ten pages I just wrote in one sitting, but college really does that to you. It's my third year already, I completed my minor in business and now I'm struggling through my major in psychology. Nothing about this place appeals to me anymore, but I want to make my dad proud and he would want me here. 

The door to my dorm opens and Lucy, my roommate, drags herself inside, her eyes are tired and she gives me a small smile when she spots me on my bed. Her red hair is a stark contrast to her pale skin and the blue eyes looking back at me are so intense, it definitely took me some time to get used to. I place my computer on the floor and turn towards her body sprawled across her bed.

"Rough day?" Smiling at her.

"Rough life, Dakota," She states with humor in her voice. "I'm so sick and tired of hearing about all the shit that has happened in this world before I was even born."

"I mean, you're 21 and majoring in history, it's kind of hard to avoid."

"Don't be a smartass."

"I prefer the term realist actually."

She flings her pillow in my direction and I catch it, throwing it right back at her both of us laugh. She and I have grown closer over the years, she began on early admission, too. We basically had the entire campus to ourselves during that one summer, we only had each other to talk to. Apparently her home life is difficult, exactly like mine, so none of us have mentioned it and I'm cool with that. 

The three years here have been spent cooped up in this exact room, I rarely go out, and if I do it's mostly to grocery shop. My social life is non-existent, Lucy and I agree on the fact that college events are overrated anyway. Both of us need perfect grades to ensure a future, I sure as hell won't want to end up like my mother. 

She and I haven't talked in months, she calls every once in a while and we talk for a couple of minutes. Those calls are only to be polite, there is no bone in my body that needs her in my life, but apparently she misses me. She tries to guarantee me that she quit alcohol entirely, but the slur to her words states otherwise. Unfortunately, the lawyers gave her the house after my dad passed and I knew it would happen, what I didn't know was that she instantly sold the house and used that money to move out of Hetdale. Now she lives in a bigger city and enjoys the single life, as she tells me. 

I'm lucky to have my dad's car and the money he left behind, it has allowed me to focus on my studies during college and I know that I'm extremely fortunate for that. A lot of people struggle financially through college and stress about how they will pay for another semester, I'm blessed to be fortunate enough to go through this experience unscathed of financial issues. 

Lucy isn't as lucky as me, her dad kicked her out of their house the day after her graduation and she applied for early admission. Now she has to work at the local library to pay for her studies, I hate how much she's struggling and therefore I decided to pay most of the groceries for us. Making sure that she only has some things to worry about. 

"Are you still struggling with the whole drop out or not issue?" She asks, breaking the silence in the room. 

Nodding my head, "I just feel like there is something else out there for me. Some part of me wants to use my minor in business and do something for myself, do something that will make me happy. But I have an online meeting with a counselor tomorrow, I hope that can help and maybe guide me in a direction."

"You know I will always support you, right? No matter what you choose to do, you have to consider what will make you happy in the long run. If that is anything else than psychology, then take the leap."

"You should have studied psychology, Lucy. I'm certain you would be an amazing therapist."

She laughs loudly ending it off with her ever so charming snort, "Nope, I only deal with my loved ones' issues, that's more than enough for me."

"So you admit you love me?" I tease her, she hates being corny.

"Yeah," The uncertainty in her tone is obvious, she is so uncomfortable and I find it hilarious. "Now, what do we want for dinner?"

"Changing the subject," I laugh. "Not sure though, we can order some pizza and play Poker?"

"I won't play Poker with you, not after the last twenty times where you beat my ass."

"It's about luck though, maybe you will get lucky!"

She cocks an eyebrow, "Like shit it is, maybe to some extent. But your talent at playing Poker is absolutely ridiculous and I'm not up for yet another round of you wiping ass with my dignity."

"Fine, what do you want to do then?" I ask her with a smile.

"Eat pizza and watch Game of Thrones," The finality in her voice makes me laugh, she is completely absorbed by that show. I enjoy it, too. Nodding to her idea, she picks up the phone and orders the usual. We are lazy, both of us, which makes for an iconic duo of junk food. None of us gain weight because of it, not yet though, I'm sure metabolism will bite us in the ass at some point. 

"I want you to pick up the pizza when he comes, I think it might be Wyatt again," She teases and wiggles her red eyebrows. She has an obsession with trying to match me with guys at this college, but I really am not interested. None of them can give me what I'm searching for. 

"I don't want to date, Lucy."

She waves me off, "No, I know. But flirting with guys isn't dating and you deserve some fun. Besides, Wyatt really seems into you."

She doesn't get it, not that I'm giving her any reason to. None of these testosterone-filled dudes will ever grab my attention, I'm still hooked on a guy from high school. Hopefully, I will get over him one day, but during college isn't that time. He fills up my mind still and for some reason I don't want him to leave or be replaced. He is a reminder of all the good times during those six months of hell, he made me forget and he made me feel things. His kisses are still etched onto my mind, the sensation of his lips against mine makes a shiver dance down my spine. There is no one like him. 

Lucy means well when she wants me to have fun, she wants what's best for me and Wyatt is an okay guy with his blonde hair and blue eyes. His frame towers over mine, but I don't feel intimidated or nervous in his company. That is just the problem though, he doesn't make me feel things. I want to feel things. 

She doesn't bring up the subject again and grabs the pizza as soon as he knocks, it helps my mood slightly that she left it alone. Her intentions are good, but the timing is completely off. It has only been three years.