Finding You

Prologue

The Five stages of death are:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Denial. It's the first thing you go threw when you're told someone you love is suddenly dead. You don't want to believe it's real. It can't be real. That person can't just suddenly be gone. You think it has to be a dream, it's just not possible. It's like life slows down and you don't know what to feel anymore. You just go through the motions.

We got the call at 11:13 at night. There was a car accident. A drunk ran a red light and hit my brothers car when he was on his way home. Brandon was pronounced dead on scene. He had his whole life ahead of him and then he was just gone.

I know life doesn't stop for anyone, but it sure feels like it did. I stopped going to school and boxing. My twin brother, Carston, stopped with school and football. We are stuck and my dad is no exception. He has time off from work to mourn his son. And for a month and a half we haven't done anything. For us, life has stopped.

This was pretty much a repeat of three years ago when my mom died from cancer. I was only fourteen when it happened. It was the first time I ever really dealt with death and watching your mom die is one of the worst things ever. And now Brandon and my mom are gone.

This big chunk has been stolen from our lives and none of us know how to deal. I eat microwave meals when someone makes me eat, watch TV without actually watching it, and lay around. This isn't like me, but at the same time it is the new me.

Everyone says time heals but it doesn't. That person is still gone and you're still breathing. You just learn how to survive without them. Missing them never goes away. It's always going to be there and there's only one thing you can do.

You have to keep moving on.