ᴀᴘʜʀᴏᴅɪᴛᴇ // $ᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇʙᴏʏ$

Chapter Thirty Four

APHRODITE

The days went on in a boring fashion as I continued to live in the hotel. I went shopping with my savings, continuing to use the fake name and accent when asked, spending my only money on things like new clothes, shoes, and even a couple new shades of red lipstick. I stuffed myself with all my favorite foods I missed and a ton of coffee since Scott never had those types of things around. I bought a couple packs of cigarettes and smoked a lot, missing being able to smoke even though it was so bad for me. Every time I went out I would walk the streets looking for Ari but I never saw him.

I went to a salon, one whose employees were way too young and carefree to spend their free time watching such programs as the news and the progress of the investigation of Scott and gave in to girly temptations. I wanted to look my best for Ari when I finally saw him since I had become so grimy from living in the warehouse for so long. I got my hair blow dried, my eyebrows tinted, and my nails done and painted black. I even let one of the newer employees fresh out of beauty school give me a Brazilian wax because I wanted to feel as fresh and clean and spotless as possible. I wanted to feel new, I wanted to feel different. I halfheartedly smiled at the nervous girl who was waiting on feedback and I told her she did a great job, and that I was happy with the results. It didn't hurt that bad either.

The salon's receptionist, with her short hair, cut crazily into one of those artsy styles hair dressers were always giving each other, chewed her gum loudly as she took my money and asked, "Doing all this for your man, Anna?"

I chuckled on the inside at my fake name. I looked down my pants to make sure I wasn't bleeding from the wax and answered. "No." After taking my change, my next words surprised her. "I left him." Referring to leaving Scott, something she obviously knew nothing about, I laughed at my own humor inside my head.

I spent my nights simply walking the streets I'd known all my life. I knew it wasn't very smart for a woman like me to casually stroll in the threatening and sometimes deadly streets of the city at certain times of the night. It wasn't smart for any woman at all. But I found that I didn't care. I'd seen worse and then had been thrust into the world New Orleans knew as home. And even though I was now out of that world with Scott, I felt oddly disconnected from everything around me.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stay warm within my leather jacket and matching gloves, the scarf around my neck and head and my hair clipped up to stay safe from the piercing wind. My boots clicked along the sidewalk as I looked inside various shops, ignoring the howl of sirens and the screech of tires as the police were probably rushing off to save someone from some kind of terrible fate. I passed a dark alley in the cold and heard soft whimpering.

Glancing at the alley, I saw a woman lying on the wet ground. Her clothes were torn, her purse emptied, her tears running down her freezing face with a bloody lip. The woman curled her limbs up to her chest, shivering, crying because she was hurt and cold, robbed and probably worse. The woman noticed me staring at her, made eye contact with me and continued to whimper.

As I looked at the broken woman, I knew how she was feeling. I knew what it was like to feel used up and hurt, stolen from and left all alone. But this was what the world, including this city I called home did to people, I told myself. Even with all the police in the world, all its detectives and governments, all its foolish heroes, the world, this country, this state, this city still would take this one, weak woman and break her, use her until there was nothing left.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" The woman hissed at me through her tears.

I frowned at the woman, and simply walked away.

◇◇◇

I stayed in bed the entire next day, five days after I left Scott, wearing nothing but a pair of new lacy panties and the blankets around my body to keep the cold away. I closed the curtains so that what little sun peeks through the grey clouds wouldn't bother me; I made sure that the window was fully secured so that I wouldn't have to hear the sirens from outside. And when I got bored, I turned on the television and watched the news, digging into my shopping bags for entertainment.