Unknown Love (Benjamin Tallmadge x Reader)

Chapter 8

(Y/n) p.o.v

It was Ben. Major Tallmadge, my first friend and last one to see. I didn't expect it was him. We talked for a few hours and we started to get really close. Right now, I'm at my room looking at the letter he sent me. We agree to write to each other but, I don't think he knows that I'm a spy. But, I can't disagree but, am I having feelings for Ben? "Sweetie, it's your mother, can we talk?" My mother said. "Yes mother, come in," I putted my letter away and came in and close the door behind her. "(Y/n), your going to have to explain why you weren't here for the past 2 years?" I knew she's going to ask me the question. I hope she doesn't get angry. "I was in the front lines mother, I was a soldier during the past 2 years." I though she was going to be mad but, she was happy. "Sweetie, you know I won't get mad, your just like your father, I told not to go he still goes. Even you. Even if I stop you, you'll still go." My mother said laughing and knowing told me she always wanted to join but can't since father won't allow her and also because "she's a women". "Mother, please don't tell father, I beg of you," I begged her and nodded. "I won't, but please, stay alive that would be enough," she said calmly and started to leave. "Oh yeah, I accept your relationship of you and Major Tallmadge," she said smiling. Before I could tell something to her, she closed the door. I knew I will leave in three days. I went to prepare my uniform and saw it was clean. "I need men clothes." I went to my father's room and see if there were any men clothing. Sorry father, I'm going to have to borrow some of your clothes. After I finished my thoughts, I packed some dresses just in case if are suspicious of me. I have the booklet earlier than expected and pack it in my bag. I wrote a letter to Benjamin saying:

Dear Ben,
I knew you'll be lettering a lot, and I will try to letter to you. Also, I wanted to say to please give your letters to Jocab Williams and he's the only person I could trust. If we meet again, I hope it'll be when the war is over and we got our freedom. I'll be waiting for you my friend. Please stay alive, that'll be enough.
Sincerely,
(Y/n) Washington

After I got that done, I prepared a letter for my fathe if I don't make out alive during my mission.

Dear Father,
You would be wondering why I left a letter in your desk, I have the answer. I joined the war without your permission, I'm sorry. I did it because I want to fight for freedom and when you see this, I'll be alive or dead at this point. Also, I wanted to say I made you proud because I was lieutenant colonel. I was the first women to be in the front lines. You'll blame yourself but, don't. I did it for my own will. I'm sorry, tell mom that I said sorry for everything. Goodbye Father, this might be the last letter you'll see from your daughter.
Your daughter,
(Y/n) Washington

There, done. I was crying and not knowing if I'll be alive or not. I went to leave the letter in the drawers of my father. He'll probably won't see it, I'm putting it there because he'll look at it after war. I don't have to worry that much. I went downstairs and saw father reading. "(Y/n), what are you doing in the middle of the night?" I knew this will be the last time I see my father. " I came to say goodnight before I sleep," I said and went up to him and hugged him and he hugged me and said goodnight. Goodbye Father I said silently. Benjamin Tallmadge, I know I didn't get to say this to you but, I love you and will remember you in my heart. I putted everything I needed in my bag and putted my night gown on. This could be my- no not lovely dovey right now. I don't know if the war will end, but it will. I grab my book Common Sense by Thomas Paine and read it. I know this ball, all man wanted my attention. Not all women are used like dolls. I know they want to please my father so they could ask him for my hand of marriage. Not happening, even though I'm 24, I will marry someone, but that someone must accept what I'm fighting for like Ben- oh god, it's like I can't take him off of my mind. I went to bed and before I was asleep I say silently Benjamin Tallmadge, I love you. I drifted to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a journey.