A Girl with Pursuits

Introduction

Growing up wasn't the easiest for me, I had a very different upbringing compared to most kids at school. My dad had left me and my mom when I was only six weeks old. My mom, on the other hand, didn't have the most forthcoming job either. My mother, Eliza, was what our society would call a "slut". Simply put, my mother was a sex worker, and she wasn't the best mom either. In many ways, her work was her first priority rather than me, or at least, it felt like that. 

We lived in a small one bedroom apartment in downtown Los Angeles. Once I was finally old enough to be left home alone, she'd leave for a days work and wouldn't come home till three or four in the morning.  There's a silver lining though. Because of her absence, I learned some pretty valuable life skills, like how to cook, do laundry, make sure bills were paid on time... Yet, it always felt as though I grew up way too fast. It didn't help either that my mom was extremely depressed. She didn't have much help raising me because my dad ran off and my grandma didn't want anything to do with us because my mom had me out of wedlock. My grandma was also not the biggest fan of my mother's substance abuse. In all honesty, who would be? I don't know if I remember any point in my childhood where my mom was completely sober. There was always some kind of substance in her that would adjust her mood. To me, that was normal though-- it wasn't until high school when I realized this life that I had been living was far from normal. I didn't have the most luxurious childhood, but I didn't let any of the shit that I had faced hold me back from breaking free.

By the time I got to middle school, I began collecting magazines. I was an active reader all throughout my childhood, yet the magazines which I collected became my favorite escape. I dreamt of doing interviews with these celebrities but also writing important pieces bringing awareness to social issues or injustices.  When I discovered my love of journalism, I made it my life goal to achieve just that. That would be my golden ticket out. I knew the chances of being successful in journalism were hard, but it was what I loved and I was determined to make it happen. This was the only thing I was passionate about. The only thing I truly cared about being successful in. From that moment on, I made a vow to myself. Well, two vows. 1.) I would go to school for journalism and someday work at my dream job, Variety Magazine and 2.) I would grow up and never make the same mistakes my family made.