A Girl with Pursuits

Chapter Sixteen: Positive

My mother was standing right in front of me surrounded by a blinding white light. Her smile was beaming. She reached her arms out to me and I felt myself walking towards her, to hug her. I never did that. We never did that. My pace began to quicken and she began towards me. We were running towards each other and soon enough we slammed into each other, cradling one another in our arms. The white light dimmed and revealed that we were standing in a meadow. Just me and her holding one another. My mother rubbing my back and kissing my cheeks. I felt something very hot roll down my cheeks in that instant. Tears. I was crying. Why was I crying? I couldn't seem to take control of my emotions. My mom pushed me back and cupped my face, wiping away my steaming tears.

"Honey," she pleaded, "don't cry. I'm here."

"I don't want you to leave again," I sobbed. Was this heaven? Did I die? I didn't understand. Where was I and how is my mom here? She chuckled slightly and embraced me again.

"No baby, this isn't heaven."

"Where am I? How are you?" I said through a muffled voice as my head was buried in her chest.

"That doesn't matter. I am just so happy to get to hold you again. So so happy. Just know that whatever you decide to do, I love you, forever and always."

"What are you talking about?" I asked startled, pulling myself up from her chest and meeting her gaze. She smoothed my hair and held me tighter and tighter, as if she was trying to keep me from going somewhere.

"I love you Adeline. I love you. I love you. I love you." She just kept repeating that over and over again.

"Mom stop," I began crying again, "you're scaring me."

"Adeline, I love you. You need to wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Please wake up!" Her voice grew louder and louder each time she spoke, almost as if she was yelling at me.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" As I looked at her with widened eyes, I began to embrace her even tighter. But she started to fade. Fading away right here in my arms.

"Stop! You can't leave me again! Please! I'm sorry! Please don't go!" I pleaded with her to stay.

"Wake up, Adeline. Please." She said this in a whispered tone. Just like that, I was standing in the meadow by myself. My face sticky from the tears shed and eyes burning. I was numb. So fucking numb. Yet, something caught my eye in the distance. A glowing black light was nearing me. I felt as though I needed to run away from it, but my feet were glued to the ground beneath me. The black light came quicker and quicker until it completely engulfed me. I was emotionless-- I was terrified-- but unable to move any part of my body. Even my mouth was glued shut. I was just standing in the dark, then all of a sudden, I heard a voice pleading with me once again.

"Please, wake up. Please Adeline. Wake up." The voice grew louder and louder just as my mothers did. The pleading voice grew so loud, it was unbearable. I was screaming on the inside but nothing was able to come out. I took a very deep inhale and as I exhaled, I was met with blinding yellow white lights.

"Adeline!" a hushed voice said. The harsh light hurt my eyes, I wanted to keep them shut but I was also curious to know where I was. My vision finally returned and when I was (mostly) aware of my surroundings, I turned to see that Noah was there, squeezing my hand.

"Hey," I said horsley.

"Hi," he responded in a shaky voice.

I looked at him disapproving; why was he upset? I looked down at my hands and saw that I was attached to two different tubes. I looked back up at Noah, now very confused.

"What's the last thing you remember," he said, staring at me with heavy concern. The question caught me off guard. I didn't know the answer to it. Well, I remembered seeing my mom but now I realize that was all just a dream. I thought for a good minute and suddenly everything started to come back.

"The interview?" I questioned. He smiled.

"Yeah. That's right."

"Did I faint?"

"Yeah you did."

"How long have I been out?"

"4 hours or so?"

"Hmm. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did I faint? Because I didn't eat breakfast?"

Noah smiled, shook his head and laughed. "No. Doctors did some tests." His voice faded and he looked down at my hands. His eyes followed the tubes up to the stands which held the bags of medicine.

"What tests?" He snapped back and turned his gaze back to me.

"You were out for a while so just making sure everything was okay."

"Oh." I examined his eyes, there was something that he was hiding from me. "So why'd I pass out?"

"Well... Adeline." He took a deep breath, squeezed my hand tighter, swallowed hard, and looked me in the eyes. "You're pregnant."