Group Therapy

73 - On A Date.

A few days pass and eli's aunt doesn't return, he made me promise not to tell her what happened because he doesn't want her to worry.

My mom didn't come back yet either so that's that.

Alex comes over everyday to hang out and of course brings trixie.

Raleigh and hunter get along really well, in fact Raleigh spoke a few words to me here and there so we're making progress.

Ryder checks in on Raleigh pretty much every day, I've never seen careless and ignorant Ryder Maxwell Asshole Stone care about something this much. I can tell she means everything to him.

He's also been planning his- for the lack of a better word -escape for a while now and as far as l know he's almost there. The last step left is for him to get chase out of the gang so he doesn't get caught up in the mess that will happen and after that he'll notify the police and the gang is gone.

I also don't know about the other gang, the one with ace and blair in it. They seem to have quit trying now, or at least that's what l think.

I haven't heard from ace since that last interaction we had before l left to the safe house and aella doesn't come over anymore.

Blair and l haven't talked since l found out about the gang, l didn't tell her anything, just deleted her number and whenever she would try to talk to me in school I'd come up with whatever excuse to leave and needless to say she got the hint and stopped trying after a few days.

I still don't fully understand what they want from me, all of this can't be just for some information. But whatever it is, l don't want to know.

I asked ryder about them a few times and he always told me that his gang are taking care of them, l guess they made some sort of truce since everything's died down now.

However when ryder reports his gang he's going to report the other gang too, so he can finally live a gang-free life.

I can't imagine what it was like for him, a thirteen year old boy who's mom left and just had to murder his dad to protect his sister. To make such decisions at that age, l hate to think about it.

On a more positive note we've talked about it before, we kind of made a little agreement that we'd both start working on getting our shit together, starting with him leaving the gang and me just trying to be a bit more positive.

I'll be honest, l used to think it was all bullshit. This whole 'you are what you believe' thing. But now that I've actually tried to be a bit nicer to myself, for instance l stopped calling myself ugly every time l look into a mirror. I actually look into mirrors now. It really helped, after a while you start to see that maybe it isn't as bad as your mind makes you think it is.

Years of people trying to get me to change and this random guy who I've known for only a year somehow managed to do it. The dude is doing something to me.

Also, on a kind of unrelated note. Ryder is supposed to get his stitches out today and l offered to come with him, he agreed. Which is progress in our relationship... Or friendship. He never wanted to be vulnerable around anyone and him letting me come with him to the appointment knowing that he'll be somewhat vulnerable during it makes me feel like he's letting me in a little more. I like that.

A small tap on my arm snaps me out of my thoughts.

I turn around to find Raleigh, alone.

Usually she would be with hunter so this is new.

"Rae, what's up?" l ask cheerfully, pushing my phone away and tapping the spot next to me on the couch.

She takes a seat. "Does ryder hate me?"