ready freddie? - G.Lee

two

"so, del,how'd you stumble upon Joe." Ben asks. Clutching a mug of hot chocolate. Apparently Joe keeps sachets in his locker. which i can already tell is such a joe thing to do. (this may be based off a real life event and honestly it was the purest thing)

Me, Ben and Gwil had been talking for around 40 minutes, about school, and life and interests.

"oh, i was reading the prospectus on the bus, Joe noticed and said hi, he seemed really sweet, so we talked, and here we are!" i explained.

"he is sweet, i'm so lucky, really." Ben replies, a rose tinted haze clouding his vision as he begins to drift off, a lovesick expression growing on his face. (they would so be THAT couple in school u cannot convince me otherwise)

"oh here we go!" Gwil says, mocking Bens goo goo eyes and mimicking being sick.

i laugh into my mug, the liquid splashing into my nose.

"oh shut up gwil, just because i've actually got someone!" Ben teases, sticking his tongue out at Gwil. 

"i am wounded sir!" he replies, in a faux offended tone, "put a dagger through my heart why don't you!"

at this point, i cannot contain my multitudes of laughter, and this wouldn't of been a problem, if my mouth was not full of hot chocolate.

i spluttered the now lukewarm liquid all over the table, absolutely ruining both gwils shirt and bens bag.

"Oh my god i am so sorry!" i exclaim.

"It's alright." Gwil says softly, "i think it adds character."

Gwil seems to smile a lot, i like it.

I turn to Ben, a slightly more agitated look on his face, but i can see there is no true malicious intent behind it.

"it's alright, just give me a smoke break and i'll be alright."

"Ben!" Gwil reprimands. "You know Joe hates you smoking, we all do!"

"Alright mum!"

"We care about your health!"

"Alright!"

Tension began to brew, voices began to raise. Oh god, i've messed it up again, i set fire to everything i touch.

the bickering continued, sending the pit in my stomach further and further.

I can't, i can't deal with it, i've already fucked up for fuck sake, fuckedy fuck fuck. in a fucking library for fuck sake. did i mention i fucked up?

i stand up, quickly moving, i don't need them to see my tears right now, i sprint to the door, my bag half open and the strap hanging off my shoulder.
(am i the only one who always forgets to close their bag like i'll be walking to my next lesson and 99% of the time someone will stop me and say 'hey, your bags open!'.

I see an empty store cupboard, and my fight or flight senses start to kick in. "fuck it" i think, and step inside.

So here i am, the first hour of my new college. crying into a mop bucket.
(meeeeee)
about ten minutes later, i hear a creak from the door, oh god, the caretakers probably gonna find me and shout and-

it was gwil.

it was gwil, gwil, who has now seen me crying into a mop bucket.

"oh my god, deli." he says, sitting next to me, taking the stupid mop bucket from my hands, and placing his hands on mine.

"i'm sorry." i choke out. "all i wanted was some new friends, and i've already fucked it up!"

he smiles softly, grabbing kitchen roll from one of the shelves in the cupboard, tearing a piece off, and dabbing my stray tears away.