Never Admit

CHAPTER 36

- Jack looked at the creature, now remembering everything that has happened before. He remembered the first time they met and the last time they saw each other, which was yesterday. Closing his eyes, he forced his tears not to come out and make him a crying mess. Jack opened his eyes and looked back at the creature, pleading it with his eyes.

"Please, can I somehow take him back?" Jack asked it.

"The spell, or ritual, that you did, made an agreement with this dimension that it can never be brought back fully. But, it can still barely be visible."

"Really, how?!" Jack asked in excitement. Hope rising in him, but falling again once he heard his answer.

"Through your memories."

"So, like, I can only see the memories and the things we did, but can't be with him right now?" Jack just wanted to give up, he was really sad and everything was going worse and worse, making him feeling even more down than ever.

"That is correct."

The creature looked at him with no emotion shown whatsoever, making Jack feel even more angry that he thought that it didn't care at all.

"Why are you like this. Why do not care at all. It's like you wanted this to happen all along?!" Jack raised his voice, getting more and more teared up.

"I am not you. I do cannot feel or express any kind of emotion. Do not feel any kind of sadness or anger towards me if I cannot show these emotions."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I just, overreacted." Jack apologized to it, even though he knew that it did nothing to it. It couldn't feel any sort of emotion, so he could not be hurt, but happy as well.

He decided to get out of this place and say goodbye to Anti. He told the creature that he wanted to leave and just after he has said that, he was back in his bedroom.

Jack looked around and saw nothing that might be alarming to him. It was all peacefull and quiet. He put his head in his hands and cried. He didn't want to believe all of this happened. He didn't want to believe that he was never going to see him again. It broke his heart, but he was the only one that knew about this. Everyone else was living their own lives without any knowledge that Anti was even here in this world.

His face left his hands and he got up and decided to visit all of the memories he had with him. He got nicely dressed and went out of his house, trying to look as friendly and not torn apart as possible.

Time passed and he stepped inside the first place that he had met him. The restaurant. It took him to those old memories where everything happened. It was a disaster, but Jack still wanted to revisit this place and see what was new.

There were new servants that asked him what he wanted to order. He ordered a glass of red wine and slowly drank it when they served it to him. Once he was done, he paid and went home.

On his way home, he looked over at the mountain and decided not to go there ever again. He was still afraid of the things that might happen.

Halfway there, he decided to go to the bar where they had their first date at. He didn't go in, but still remember clearly what has happened in there. He walked towards the park and let a single tear fall down on his cheek when he sat on the bench where they first had their first real kiss at. He missed him. Really missed him, but there was nothing he could do to bring him back.

He finally decided to head back home and change into a more comfortable clothes to wear. He wanted to wear something more loose, it relaxed him  more. It made him feel less sad.

He opened his door and for a second he thought he heard Anti making food in the kitchen, but soon realise that it was only in his imagination. He was shocked at first, of course, but he returned to his dad self back again. He rubbed his temples and walked passed the living room and went into the kitchen.

Jack thought that if he could make something, he would feel as if he was there, but he tried doing that and it didn't work. Changing his clothes, he thought of calling any of Anti's friends, but soon realised that if he was gone, they were gone as well. If he was gone, then they were too.

Not knowing what to even do, he laid on his bed and thought about everything. He wanted this pain to stop, he wanted this to end, but he could not force himself to take away his very own life. After a couple of minutes just laying there, some sort of button was pressed in him and he kinda came to a conclusion. What if he didn't miss him at all. What if it was just the memories that he wanted back and not him in general. He couldn't possibly love him, right? It was obviously list and not love, right? He was probably not wrong, right? He was only missing those times that he had fun and not actually wanting to be with him.

He looked and felt both tired and confused. This whole thing was messing him up. He didn't know what was the correct answer to his many questions. He wanted one, but it seemed like he couldn't find one. Out of nowhere, one by one, tears started falling from his eyes and didn't want to stop. Jack was a crying mess. He missed him. He missed him so much, but he didn't know if it was real love or just lust.

Maybe...

Just maybe...

Jack didn't know what he was feeling towards Anti because...
.
.
.
.
Jack never really did love himself in the first place.

And it killed him thinking that things might've been different if they hadn't done that spell.

THE END.

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Thank you all so much for reading. As you might've guessed already, this is the end of this book. I am really glad how it turned out, considering that it is my first book that I have ever written in my life. I hope that you enjoyed reading this book and found the ending interesting. I tried my best to think of a good ending, but this was all that I could think of, so I sticked to it and wrote it down. I don't know if there will be a sequel to this book, but if you want to, comment and tell me that you want a sequel and I will try to make it and write as much as possible. Sorry if these chapters are short. They are with 1000+ words and to me it sounds good enough for now, but for some people the chapters may not me long enough. One more thing I want to mention it that I really see an improvement in my writing. Since I started, I wasn't that good, but know in the end of this book, I know that I have improved. I didn't improve that much, but I know that I did become better after writing this whole book. Again, thank you all for reading and I have that you have a good day or night.
I love you all, goodbye!
💚