i just got you back

6 | 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔

Present day

Steve felt the hunger growing inside his stomach. He looks at the clock. 7:59. There weren't any food prepared, so he decides to cook, obviously.

He'd been watching Bucky sleep for the past couple of hours. He never sleeps that long, but he never complains. He deserves it, he thinks, knowing that Bucky's serum had kept him awake for numerous nights.

Bucky used to watch him sleep helplessly on the bed for nights. He'd always catch a cold, a fever, and it almost seemed like he was dying, but Bucky would always be there to save him from his supposed death. He'd always prepare him a bowl of soup, give him medicine, and gently stroke his forehead with his thumb, reassuring that everything will be okay. If Bucky wasn't there after his mother Sarah died, he wouldn't live any longer.

He had enough reason to love him.

Steve felt his cheeks heating up, and at that point, he knew he'd tear up. Shit, Steve, you're so dramatic. Well it was Bucky, it's a valid reason.

He shook his thoughts off as he slowly prepares food. It's nothing much, but at least he knows how to cook. Bucky would do better, though.

Little did he know, the soldier is starting to wake up from his long slumber. Rubbing his eyes, Bucky stared at the window. It was dark. The last thing he knew before he slept, it was still daytime. I guess that's enough beauty sleep for now.

The smell of food awakens him even more. Steve. He groggily gets off the couch and starts walking towards the kitchen, seeing his best pal transfer the food onto the serving plate. His lips form a smirk.

"So Captain America knows how to cook now? That's big news."

Steve gently scoffs, grabbing a spoon. "Any sweet dreams, Sleeping Beauty?" The nickname caught him off guard.

Bucky laughs at the name, "If I were Sleeping Beauty, why would I be awake now? I thought she needed a true love's kiss?"

Steve glares at him.

And that's when he knew, he fucked up big time. Shit, shit, shit, shit! Bucky's heartbeat begins to pick up the pace, his mind and soul panicking. He had his whole life to keep a secret away from Steve, and now he's giving him hints.

"O-oh, um-" he nervously laughs. "That sounded wrong, I didn't mean to-"

"I get what you mean, Buck, calm down," Steve laughs, it's so adorable whenever he does that, getting nervous and all. It's his turn to smirk. "Unless you really wanted a kiss?"

Great, it's all over—wait, what did he say?

His eyes widened and he's completely aware that he skipped a heartbeat. Don't blush, don't blush, don't you dare fucking blush!

His cheeks were boiling red.

Steve, on the other hand, instantly regretted his word choices. He could've ended the awkwardly flirtatious conversation there, period. Great job, Rogers! He mentally slaps himself. You've made him extremely uncomfortable.

"Y-you know what? Dinner's ready," Steve chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I figured you'd wake up anyway, so you better eat with me or I'll never finish all of these."

Bucky smiles, grateful that it was all over. "Yeah, sure."

-

The window was kept open, therefore the noise of the busy area was the only thing keeping the pair from absolute silence, together with the faint clattering of the utensils with the plate. Bucky couldn't think of anything to say, while Steve wondered if he would bring up the question Bucky asked him while they were at Tony and Pepper's residence last night.

He decides to give it a go.

"Buck, you never told me about the thing yesterday," he started. "You said you wanted to talk?"

Oh yeah, right. Bucky realized. He'd completely forgotten about that. He pondered whether he should bring it up or just, pretend he's forgotten about it, or just, you know, tell a lie?

Things between him and Steve are getting really awkward, alright.

Even if his heart keeps telling him to not talk to him about it, he really, really wants to know the reason behind Steve's return from the quantum realm. It may not be a big deal for Steve and he'll probably call him an overdramatic freak for asking, but he figured there's nothing wrong with being a little bit too curious.

So he does.

"Yeah, about that..." Bucky starts, trying to put words together. "What happened between you and...Peggy? I don't know why I'm even...asking, but I'm really wondering why."

Steve stops whatever he's doing and directly looks Bucky right in the eyes. Shit. What's he gonna say now? 'Oh, yeah! Peggy told me about your secret, you actually love me. And now I decided I'd come back because...

Right. That's the real question. Why did he come back? Did he love him back? He wasn't thinking twice when Peggy told her about it, he just straight up told her he's going back, and that's it.

Denial and confusion are always the worst feelings ever. Ever.

"Oh, um," he looks down, trying to hide the nervous feeling inside him, for the sake of not scaring Bucky and hurting his feelings. Yeah. If Bucky knew that he knows, he'd be hurt. Not just hurt. Betrayed. "I just thought, maybe marrying her wouldn't be best, you know? She's married, and marrying her would just mess up her timeline. And not just her timeline, everything. I figured the past is in the past, and it was foolish of me to fix things there. I was too stuck in that time. Maybe because I am a man out of my time, and just being in a modern world all of a sudden is just...overwhelming. Yeah, that's why I came back."

It wasn't entirely a lie. He does acknowledge the fact that he's a man out of his time. There's no doubt in that. He didn't exactly lie, but at least he doesn't spill the real tea, right?

He knew he needs to eventually tell him the truth one day.

Nevertheless, Bucky thinks the reason is valid enough, very oblivious about what really happened. "Oh," was all he could mutter after the quick monologue.

Part of him was guilty. He could've made a better life for himself, in a time where he belongs. Not in a world where modern technology begins to overpower the whole world. Peggy belongs to him. He's just a nobody. But he still loved him so much.

He still loves him at this very moment.

Bucky stands up with his plate, signaling he's leaving the table. "I'm done. I'd rather turn in for the night now."

Steve smiles, "Okay. Good night, Buck."

Well that was rather interesting.