i just got you back

8 | 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑠𝑜𝑛

Bucky sat there, eyes widened. After a couple of mental cursing and slapping, he's finally convinced that Steve, his best friend, is kissing him. The problem is, he's too shocked and overwhelmed that he couldn't even find himself kissing back or something.

Come on, don't upset him! Do it!

He didn't want to ruin the mood, so he slightly deepens the kiss, his right hand cupping Steve's cheek. The blonde man didn't seem to pull back, so it probably means a good thing.

Steve, on the other hand, didn't care anymore. He knew he wouldn't resist the temptation of kissing Bucky soon, and he just wanted him to know he's never leaving his side ever again. He felt the kiss deepen, and a small grin forms on his lips. He kissed back.

He didn't want this to end. He knew that if they broke the kiss, it would be really awkward—

Now that he thinks of it, he immediately pulls back, leaving Bucky confused and disappointed. But he knew it was probably just an on-the-spot smooch, and he didn't even really mean to kiss him. It probably didn't mean anything at all.

Steve thought it was the right thing to do. Having thought through that he never really confessed anything to him, and Bucky's heart is really fragile at the moment so a kiss could really mean a thousand things to him right now had made him convinced that this isn't the right time for that kind of stuff.

Shit. He really fucked it up. Things are going too fast. He may or may not break his heart in the end, but he wouldn't want to do that. Now that he knows his huge impact on Bucky's feelings have crushed him to death.

"I..." Steve's voice was rough, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, "...I'm...that...uh..."

Bucky lowers his gaze. He knew it never meant anything to Steve. It'll always be like that. He'll never love him back anyway, so what's the point? "I get you...I understand. I'm sorry I kissed back..."

Steve did not miss the hint of disappointment in his tone. He felt bad for rushing things, which definitely escalated the whole situation. "No! It was fine, you didn't do anything wrong, I should be sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

Steve's eyes widened. "I, uh..."

He wanted to say he's sorry for kissing him, but it would just make matters worse, so he takes it back. "...you know what? Forget it. Let's sleep, we've got things to do in the morning."

Bucky raises his tone ever so slightly in confusion. "Things like what? Steve, we haven't been doing anything important for the past couple of days."

"Uhh, things like eating, reading, writing, breathing?"

Bucky scoffs softly. "I'll take that. Good night, Steve."

Steve lays back with his side down, body covered in blankets, facing the window with the moonlight shining down his face. "Good night, Buck."

☾

It was the same old boring and usual day for the both of them. They were free from any missions. It seems like those tasks were the only things keeping them busy. Without them, they had nothing to do at all.

Nick Fury wasn't really communicating with them. Thor is in God knows where, along with the Guardians of the Galaxy roaming around the universe, wherever they can't be right now. Natasha...well Natasha is gone, and it is completely different without her. Usually, she'd visit Steve here and there while Bucky was under that cyro-freezing-whatever-that-shit-is-called in Wakanda. Peter is taking a break from any missions and schoolwork. Steve recently heard there was this weird guy with weird green-ish sorcerer powers trying to save the Earth from weird destroying elements. The last thing Fury told them was to not come with the mission, although it sounds pretty important. Carol can be anywhere else on Earth, or probably outside the planet, considering she could do that instead. Things between her and Fury are really complicated.