wanderlust

c. i

CHAPTER ONE
PAPER SWAP

marley griffin.

i took the cap off the top of my pen and placed it on the pointy side. "done?"

"y-yes ma'am."

"ethan finished first. edit each other's papers."

that made me extremely hesitant. i don't know him. i don't really know anybody.. why would i want someone to read my personal work? after all, he's just a classmate. sure, i've seen him around, but i've always acknowledged grayson before him. before i could let out a peep he exchanged his paper with mine and had already sat back down behind me.

i placed my eyes on his paper.

"losing someone obviously is not easy. especially a parent.

my dad was diagnosed with cancer a year ago and continues to battle it to this day. but i'm not allowed to show that it affects me. my mom told me i have to stay strong in front of father. my dad has always been very proud of raising strong boys. dad wouldn't want to see his son being a little bitch. so by showing sadness, i am not strong.

as far as they know, i'm doing amazing and losing my own dad to cancer has not fazed me. as far as they know. but i'm hurting, truly fucking hurting. grayson fell into some unhealthy habits and now hangs around with the wrong people. we just have to show our mom we are okay.

but at night, when i lock myself away in my cold, dark bedroom, i can't but help to break down. all i can do at this point is pray and cry. i'll never except the truth. i know he's going soon but i don't want to believe he is.

i wish i could just wake up and shit would be like it was a year ago."

i couldn't find anything to correct. i was blown away.

i turned around and he was still reading mine, marking all over it and adding notes.

my red pen glided over words i thought didn't need to be there, but overall i thought the paper was amazing. minus the cuss words. i wrote notes on the side that complimented his word use and writing style. it was casual. i liked it.

ethan grant.

i snatched her paper before she got a chance to say no to my grading skills. i didn't have to notice her body language, everyone acted like that around me.

"do you ever just miss somebody? usually when you miss someone you can shoot them a text .. and tell them. tell them how much you care for them, love them, and want to see them. how much they mean to you and how you appreciate everything they've done for you.

but if they're dead, they're just dead. you can go sit and talk to them at their grave, but it's not like you want it to be. never the same. having a real conversation is much better. obviously. it is what it is. they died. dead. gone. and that really sucks. especially when they were your rock. your heart and sole. the one woman her kids should feel like they have nothing to hide from and can tell everything too. but if they're dead, who are you gonna tell?

it's not like she was sick. she was murdered. nobody wanted to see my mother and father happy. we thrived as a family. a happy, younger couple with two daughters and a son. dreamy.

i'm extremely appreciative to have my dad. very, very lucky. but it's not the same. it's never gonna be the same. he tries his hardest to be just like mom, but he can never be as caring and loving as she was. it's not in his blood, and they're polar opposites.

grace was like me. she loved books and was closed off. my dad loved drugs and didn't date women, just played them. until he met her. my mom was his rock. they did everything together. she adored him no matter how many mistakes he would make, people he would harm, and drugs he would intake. they were madly in love for years. but his reputation stuck to the family name. to threaten him, they killed my mother and newborn sister.

of course, the murderers are in jail now but i'd much rather have my momma and laila. it's okay now. i guess. i still have my dad, and i still have brady.

i can say i still have brady, but i really don't. he's never really been okay."

hm. i never would've though this is how she was. i'm sure she doesn't know who i am, but i know very well who she is. surprising, since she's so closed off. nobody ever really got close to her though. her brother is dangerous.

i wrote all over her paper, trying to make her writing the best it could. i really liked it.

"hi! are you done editing m-my paper?" she was turned all the way around in her seat, knees pulled up to her chest like she had been watching me.

i nodded, handing it back to her.

"i was hesitant to let an-anyone read it because it's like.. a personal writing, you know? so like i poured my feelings o-onto a piece of paper and someone i don't know too w-well gets to read it. kinda scary, y-you know?" geez, this chick talks non-stop, a smile never leaving her face.

"felt that same way." i talked quietly.

marley placed my paper on the desk and took hers back.

"you're really cool. and i liked your paper. a lot. maybe sometime you could tell me more about it." she turned back around but not before giving me a toothy, reassuring grin, that i have nothing to fear.

WANDERLUST.