100 years of quarantine

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Locked down with my thoughts. Living like this seems to be impossible. Every thought is cutting thru my skin like the sharpest knife. I bleed...I feel like drowning in my own thoughts. I play cards with my demons everyday. I feel like my body is ripped of in pieces. I don't know if I am dead or still alive.
I am not believer but I beg God to forgive my sins. This is not the first time I wanted to end all of this. Please don't let me add another dot in my life.....there were too many, please

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