𝕿𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖓𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕽𝖔𝖘𝖊 | 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚘𝚗𝚎

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

          I was laying down beside Kayelee starring at the stars and moon above us. I could hear the silent conversation of the others and Niall's obnoxious laugh while Kayelee and I still remained in comfortable silence. I remembered earlier when we were down in the lake and saw Kayelee's scars. I slightly turned looked at her wrists and thighs once again seeing her scars. I could feel that it took a lot of courage for her to reveal it to us earlier and I'm just glad that she's comfortable with us seeing it now. I'm really concerned about her because I've met a lot of people with much too deep scars to go on with living. I know I've barely known her for two days but I feel very protective towards her. I feel like an older brother towards her.

          "Why?" I asked softly breaking the silence without looking at her.

          "What do you mean?" She asked equally as soft, turning slightly to look at me.

          "Why must you hurt yourself?" By now I was turned to my side looking at her green eyes. She looked down and turned back to facing the sky.

          "I lost my anchor," she said quietly after a while. "I felt like the world was swallowing me whole and I guess pain was my escape," she continued making me frown. There was more to her than meets the eye.

          "Who's your anchor?" I asked her quietly as a tear slipped out of her eye. She turned to me slowly and looked at me with sad eyes. I felt horrible for bringing up the topic and making her upset but I knew that keeping things like these to yourself is not healthy.

          "My brother Kaleb was my anchor. He was my everything; all I had left after my dad died. He was so brave, so brave for me. When Pap died he would never cry in front of me but I always heard his soft sobs in the middle of the night," she trailed of for a little bit holding back her tears.

          "No matter how tired he was he would always wake up in the middle of the night when I would scream and toss in my sleep. And when I lost him, I lost myself. I quit playing sports, and I locked myself away from everyone and everything. Then I started cutting so bad at one point I lost too much blood and passed out. I-I then decided to set myself straight when I heard one of his old voice mails play by accident. That's when I started to let people back in like my best friend Blake and Pappi. I also realized that I wasn't the only one that was hurting. Pappi was too and I just added more when I completely lost it. I just felt so selfish, and that's when I decided to fulfill my brother's wish and here I am now with you guys," she slowly said choosing her words carefully.

          I looked at her sadly as tears streamed down my face. No one deserves to go through anything she'd been through. It also hurt me because I could tell that she was still hurting. I moved closer to her and hugged her placing her head on my chest as I rubbed circles on her back. She tensed up at first but almost immediately relaxed and let out all her bottled up emotions. I stayed silent for a while knowing that talking to her while she was still crying would be no use. Once she had calmed down and her breathing was steady I decided to talk.

          "You're very strong love. But I just want you to know that bottling up your emotions won't be good in the long run," I started as she stayed silent, but I knew she was listening. "Kays, I'm sure your brother is very proud of you as well as your dad for setting your life back on track when lot of people can't. I know that no one can replace Kaleb and that he will always have a place in your heart but, I want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm pretty sure the other boys are as well. Just because it's your battle and your life doesn't mean that you have to fight it alone Kayelee," I explained softly.

𝙺𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚎'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

As I laid right here inhaling his scent that I know recognize as safety and comfort, I allowed his words to sink in.