Becoming Stronger | Camila Cabello & Harry Styles Fanfiction

Chapter 27

I didn't want the kids to read the letter yet. I reread it several times during the day. I had mixed feelings on this short letter from Marcus. Yet I'm glad that not only do I have a goodbye from him, but he also killed himself for me. I'm not sure when I'll let my kids read the letter, but, because it's the final word from their father, I want them to look at it one day. I let my parents read the letter, and they comforted me as I cried. I didn't want to spend my whole day in tears, though. Earlier Harry asked if I would come along with him somewhere, which I normally wouldn't mind, but today I just wanted it to be about my family.

I wanted my kids and I to have a great day. I wanted it to be about them and them only. I got Sofia ready for a nice day out; the others are capable of taking care of themselves. I wanted to do something simple but not too big. So, I decided on the beach. I want to create more happy memories that last forever than the sad ones that hurt and are sometimes remembered the most. My parents were gonna be working on the garden all day, so they didn't join us. I made sure to pack some stuff for a picnic. I didn't want to have to spend money on fast food, which is so unhealthy.

"Mom, today is gonna be fun!" Julian said in the backseat, playing with his soccer ball. Cole had his football, and Josie had a beach ball for her and Sofia to play with. I brought a camera with me so we could take pictures. The beach wasn't as crowded as we expected it to be, which was good. We found a nice spot, and I laid the blanket and basket down and watched as my kids ran to the water. Sofia jumped into the water; she went under but I knew her siblings had her (and thank goodness she just learned how to swim at the very beginning of the summer, just a few weeks before Marcus died). She screamed and waved in my direction. "Mommy, the water is so cold!" I smiled and took a picture as she shivered. Cole and Josie were busy fighting in the water. "You two never stop!" Julian yelled to Cole, who was throwing Josie in the water.

Sofia and Julian ran out of the water to pull me in along with them. The water was freezing, as usual. People were splashing around in it, getting me even more drenched. I started to shiver a little bit. Cole was pushing and playing with all his siblings so then, to give him a taste of his own medicine, we circled Cole and splashed him down. Once Cole was down he went underwater and we couldn't see him for a moment, but he knows how to swim. "Mommy where's Cole-" Sofia fell down as she was speaking. Julian ran to help her up but then fell into the water himself. I laughed, knowing it was Cole doing all of the work. I was busy laughing at Julian and trying to catch Cole, and then Cole had me down, too. "Mom, may I have a sandwich?" Josie asked. We all took a spot on the blanket and began to have our lunch.

"Thanks, Mom. So far, today has been fun," Josie said before taking a bite of her ham sandwich. "You're welcome. I just wanted to make you guys smile and have a good time together," I said, wiping Sofia's face; she had tiny little crumbs on it. "But Mom, you don't understand." Cole started. He wiped his face off and placed the napkin down. "We want you to be happy too. It shouldn't have to be all about you making us smile or feel good everyday or every second. We want you to feel the same way. Soon we want to do something just for you, and we will!" Cole said.

"You guys don't have to please me. I'm your mother, it's my job to make sure you're happy."

"But Mom, we want to do the same for you," Josie said.

"Besides, you aren't getting any younger!" Julian said. Cole shook his head at him and smacked his head. "Way too far brother. But Mom, tonight will be all about you!" Cole said. I didn't mind them doing simple things for me here and there, but I didn't like the attention to just be focused on me. I prefer it better when it's mostly towards my kids. "Okay, but not too much," I said. Sofia and Josie went to see if they could find any shells on the shore. Cole came back with some ice cream. "Thank you, but you could have gotten yourself some instead," I protested.

"No buts, Mom! Plus, it's your favorite flavor!" Julian said. I gave in and began to eat the chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream cone. Sofia came back with Josie trailing close behind her. "Mommy, we didn't find big and pretty shells, but we did find tiny ones like me." Sofia passed me the bucket. There were simple yet colorful shells in different sizes and shapes. They're not much, but they're so special coming from my kids. We continued our fun day at the beach. The kids ended up finding another group of children to play volleyball with. Later on, Sofia got tired and fell asleep in my arms. I told them it was time to go home, which they understood. We dried off and changed out of our bathing suits and into our clothes. The car ride back was smooth because rush hour didn't start for another hour, so we were able to return home in a short time.

My parents were outside eating dinner. In Miami at night, it's very nice out. I looked back and all of my kids were sleeping. I guess the beach really tired them out. I was able to wake up Cole. He carried Josie to bed while I took Sofia, and then he put Julian in his bed and told me goodnight. I went to take a shower and put on my pajamas. By the time I made it back downstairs, my parents were watching a movie. When I see my parents now, I picture what I wanted for Marcus and I. "Are you okay honey?" My mom asked, and I realized I was staring at them. I told her I was fine and joined them for the movie they were watching. I sat in the middle and was hugged and kissed by them several times. "Thank you," I told my parents.

"For what?" my dad asked.

"Everything. I couldn't ask for anything better than what I have now, living here with you guys and being a family again."

"Honey, even though we had problems before, the past is the past. You are our child and nothing will ever change that. No matter what happens we will always love you, and you don't have to thank us for what we do. Anything for our precious daughter." My mom gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me to go to bed. I went into my bedroom and laid down. I reread Marcus's letter to me. I looked through my journal. I wanted to write something back to Marcus. This was his final note to me, so I wanted to give him something back. I sat up and began writing. I messed up several times before I actually wrote something I liked.

Dear Marcus,

I miss you. Your children miss you. You killed yourself for me, and honestly it's one of the sweetest and saddest things anyone has ever done for me. I would be lying if I said I didn't have bittersweet feelings about your death. I remember how happy I was about being free from you. Then, wanting you here with me. It's crazy, I know. I hope you ended up in a place where you can be happy. If I could rewind time, I'd hug you and kiss you one more time. We definitely didn't have the best relationship; no one is ever the perfect couple. You hurt me, yet I can't say I never loved you. You treated me badly, yet I still care. Even with everything you caused, I wouldn't dare wish for anyone else. I know you wanted to change. I know if you could get a chance to redo our marriage, you would. You weren't the best, Marcus, but I can't even think of my life without you. Thank you for everything. You gave me some beautiful children, and happiness. I love you always. Please look out for us when you can.

-Camila

I smiled at the little note I wrote. I wish I could read it to him in person. But I know he's in a better place right now and only wants me to be happy. I can't thank him enough for that. I heard a little knock on the door and assumed it was Sofia. She walked into the room, and I helped her onto the bed. I held her in my arms and gave kisses on her forehead. "Sofia, why are you up this late?" I asked. She crawled out of my arms and laid down beside me. "Mommy, I can't sleep anymore, and I was thinking about Daddy." I laid down next to her and pulled the covers on both of us.

"What about Daddy?"

"I miss him a lot. Do you think he misses me?" Sofia asked.

"Of course he does." I place a kiss on her cheek. She's so sweet, and it hurts to think that sometimes she thinks it's her fault or that he doesn't care about her. Even though he's gone, I know he still loves her. "Sofia, your daddy loves you very much, but he just can't be with you right now. He misses you a lot." Sofia formed a small smile and cuddled in my arms. "Mommy, I love you forever," I kissed her hair. Marcus is gone forever, but he gave me four things that will never go away. I closed my eyes and went to sleep with my baby in my arms.

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Sorry for the long wait!!! School and Wattpad are both crazy

-Arianna