Forged in fear

The Big Day | 14

Peter sat in his room on the bed. He was tapping his leg up and down and he felt with how nervous he was. Time seemed to fly by and now here he was, just waiting for them to come get him for surgery. He didn't know what to believe, his own thoughts telling him it was all a trick and that they were just going to experiment on him or torture him in some way, or to believe what they're telling him. That they're actually going to do surgery on him, fix all his problems and things will actually heal inside of him. After all he hadn't really been lied to over the period of his life. He was told he would be punished and they would deliver. They said it would hurt... and it did, it truly did.

He had no reason not to believe them, but then again, their kindness was almost deceiving, yet the smiles and welcoming greeting he got all seemed so real. It was like one big game being played in his head. One big living lie, yet, he didn't really know how to pick out that lie. He knew he was too trusting. But it was hard not to want to. He had spent his entire life cold and just tired, yet the moment this warmth was shown to him, he seemed to just latch onto it and accept it and he didn't know why, and he hated himself for it.

He was told that they were the enemy, and if you ever have the chance, kill them. He wanted to listen to those who raised him, show some respect to the ones who gave him purpose, but for what reason? What purpose? To be a killing machine? To do another mans bidding? He did as he was told and that's all he could do, there was nothing else he was allowed to do, other than obey.

He wanted nothing more than to just be back at the base, surrounded by familiar faces, people who he knew their intentions, to be around those who allowed him to be, a killing machine. He wanted to go back under, he wanted to feel numb again. He wanted to be told what to do, not be left here with emotions he hasn't felt for years. He wanted to know the intentions behind there hands, he wanted to know for sure that they weren't lying.

His thoughts were cut short by the door opening. It was Bucky. He had a smile on his face, but noticed Peter's scared state. He was tapping his foot and was gripping his thighs with his hands, He was on edge and his reflexes were impeccable. He was up and looking at the door barely before he could really get it open.

He decided to go sit next to him, placing an arm around his shoulder.

"Everything is going to be ok Peter, I promise. I will be there watching it all happen, and I won't let them do anything other than what they said they were going to do. I swear." Bucky said looking into Peter's eyes. "Do you trust me?" Bucky asked Peter as he held out his hand. Peter looked down at it for a moment before swallowing.

"I do." He grabbed his hand and Bucky held onto it tightly.

"Then lets go get you all fixed up." Bucky said standing up offering his other hand to help Peter up. Peter winced at the pains in his stomach. Maybe this was a good idea. If they are doing what they claim, his physical state can only get better from here.

He held onto Bucky's hand as the two walked out of his room. They went down to the kitchen where they met up with Steve and Tony in the kitchen where they were both waiting at the island table.

"You guys ready?" Tony asked as the two stood up walking over to the pair. Peter felt a little nervous and hugged Bucky's arm, Bucky noticed his nervousness and tightened his grip on his hand for a moment, rubbing his hand with his thumb.

"Yup we're ready to go." Bucky said looking down to Peter with a smile. Tony and Steve led the two to the elevator where this time they went up. Peter felt physically sick from anxiety but he tried his best to suppress it. He hated all the new and heightened emotions he felt the longer he had been out of his brainwashed state, things started getting hard to cope. When the sliding glass doors opened to reveal a blank white room full, he saw all the medical tools and he choked. He stopped dead in his tracks. He felt his anxiety spike and he got dizzy.