The Pretty Boy (Breakfast Club)

"Eat. My. Shorts."

"Y'know, there's not supposed to be any uh, monkey business..." Brian suggested, hopelessly. "Young man, have you finished your paper?" Bender said, imitating Vernon. The rebel took a causious look around before looking at the top of the door in hopes to find a removable screw. "What is he gonna do?" asked the beauty. "Drop dead, I hope!" said the jock. "Oooh, we got two angry hot guys in one room! A third hot angry guy, and it'll be a real Wing-Dinger!" Alan said, cheerfully. "Bender, that's school property there y'know, It doesn't belong to us, it's not something to be toyed with," Brian said, trying his hardest to change Bender's mind, but right as he said so, Bender managed to successfully remove one of the screws, causing the door to slam shut. Bender proceeded to run as fast as he could back to his table, attempting to make himself look innocent.  "That's very funny, come on, fix it!" Andrew said, slightly panicking. "You should really just fix it..." Brian said, pathetically. "Am I a genius?" Bender asked. "No, you're an asshole!" Andrew shouted. "What a funny guy!" Bender said, putting on a idiotic sounding voice. See, this is why you don't piss off the bad boy!" "Look, I've been here before, I know what I'm doing." "No! Fix the door, get up there-" "SHUT UP!" Bender shouted, interrupting Andrew. "God damnit!" 

     As soon as he heard the sound of Vernon's voice coming from the other room, Alan rushed back over to his seat. Shit. Brian thought. Vernon stormed into the room. "Why is that door closed?" Nobody said a word. "WHY IS THAT DOOR CLOSED!?" "How are we supposed to know, we're not supposed to move, right?" Bender said, flashing a wink at Alan. Vernon walked over to the pretty boy, giving him a stern look. "Did you  close that door!?" "Honey, I was just sittin' here like everybody else. Don't you be lookin' at me like that, girl!" "First off, I am not a girl, Mr. Dean, I am a grown man. Second of all, if you didn't do it, then who did!?" "I don't know, I didn't see nobody doin' nothin'. Get off ma' back, honey!" Vernon facepalmed before turning around to interrogate Claire next. "Did you close it?" "I was just sitting here, like I'm supposed to." Vernon sighed, turning around again. "Who closed that door?" "I think a screw fell out of it," Bender lied. "It just closed, sir," Andrew said, going along with the lie. "Who!?" The girl in the back let out a squeak, slamming her head in the table. "She doesn't talk, sir..." Bender said, melodramatically. "Yeah, she's of them shady bitches," Alan added. "Watch your mouth, young man!" Alan pursed his lips. Vernon slowly walked over to Bender, attempting to intimidate him. "Give me that screw," he ordered. "I don't have it," Bender insisted. "You want me to yank you out of that seat and shake it out of you?" "I don't have it, screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place..." Alan giggled. "Give it to me, Bender." "Hol' up, why would wanna steal somethin' like a screw?" Alan asked. "Watch it, young man." Vernon began walking over to the closed door. Alan winked at Bender before turning his head to look at Vernon to see what he was going to do. Vernon opened the door and grabbed a chair, attempting to hold the door open with it. "The door's way too heavy, sir." Vernon ignored Bender's words and let go of the door, causing it to slam shut, and causing the chair to go flying. "Dammit!" Vernon shouted from his office, causing the students to start snickering to themselves. 

     Vernon stormed out of his office and back into the Library. "Andrew Clark, get up here. Come on, front and center, let's go!"  Andrew groaned at Vernon's orders as he got up from his seat. "Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up?" Bender asked. "If he get's up, we'll all get up, It'll be anarchy!" Bender yelled, making Alan chuckle. The two decided to instead use a magazine wrack to keep the door open. "Watch the magazines!" Vernon shouted. "It's out of my hands," Bender said. Watching all this play out, the rebel decided he'd try being the smart one for once. "That's very clever sir, but what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this junction in your career, sir." "Alright, what are you doing with this? What are you doing with this? Get this outta here for god's sake! What's the matter with you, come on!" Vernon ordered. "Well, you know the school's equipped with fire exits at either end of the Library," Brian mentioned. "Show Dick some respect!" Bender teased. "All I heard was dick and now I'm interested." Vernon walked Andrew back to his seat and gave him a stern glare. "I expected a little more from a varsity letterman." Andrew looked down, disappointed at himself. "You're not fooling anyone, Bender. The next screw that falls out is gonna be you." "Eat my shorts..." Bender mumbled. "What was that?" Vernon asked, walking over towards the rebel. "Eat. My. Shorts." "You just bought yourself another Saturday Mr. Bender!" "Ugh, I'm crushed..." he said, sarcastically. "You just bought one more right there!" "Well, I'm free the Saturday after that! Beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my Calendar-" "Good!" Vernon said, interrupting Bender. "Because it's gonna be filled! You want one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here! You through?" "No!" "I'm doing society a favor!" "So!?" "That's another one right now! I've got you for your natural born life if you don't watch you don't watch your step-you want another one?" "Yes." "You got it! You got another one! That's another one, pal!" "Lover boy, stop!" Alan yelled, briefly interrupting their conflict. "You through?" "Not even close, bud!" "Good! You got one more right there!" "You really think I give a shit?" "Another." Bender paused. "You through?" "How many is that?" "That's seven, including when you asked Mr. Vernon if Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet," Brian answered. "Now it's eight, you stay outta this!" "Excuse me sir, it's seven-" "Shut up, peewee!" Vernon yelled, interrupting Brian.

"Hol up," Alan said, walking over to Vernon. "If he's going down, I'm going down, too." "What?" "Penis." "Mr. Dean, saying that is unacceptable in this school." "Penis." "Say it again and you'll end up here next Saturday, too. "Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis," Alan said before silently walking back to his seat."Alright, I guess you'll be getting a little buddy next Saturday, huh?" Vernon said, slowly walking away from the two.  "What can I say, I'm thrilled!" Bender said, sarcastically. "Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe, you know something, Bender? Maybe you should spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself, and a little less time trying to empress people. You might be better off. Alright, that's it! I'm gonna be right outside those doors. The next time I have to come in here, I'm cracking skulls!" Vernon left the room, Sticking his index and pinky finger up at Bender. "FUCK YOU!" Bender shouted. The room was once again, silent.