The Pretty Boy (Breakfast Club)

"How Does One Become A Janitor?"

"I said, leave him alone!" Claire yelled. "Yeah, you should just leave him alone," Andrew said out of pity. "You gonna make me?" Bender asked, shifting his attention to Andrew. "Yeah." Bender walked in front of Andrew, the athlete stepping back a bit, leaving Brian with a perfect view of the fight that would soon play out in front of him. "You and how many of your friends?" Bender teased. "Just me, just you and me. Two hits, me hitting you, you hitting the floor. Anytime your ready, pal." Bender tried to punch him, but Andrew managed to get him on the floor before he could do anything. "I don't wanna get into this with you, man," Bender said, his voice a bit muffled. Andrew got off of him, making Bender jump right back onto his feet. "Why not?" "Cause' I'd kill you. It's real simple; I kill you, and your fucking parents would sue me and it would be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother!" "Chicken shit..." Andrew mumbled. He thought he could just move on and continue talking to Claire, but he heard a sort of click sound come from Bender area. Curious, he turned around. Bender had whipped out a switchblade, he held it in front of his face, trying to look scary. "Oooh, the bad boy's got a blade!" Alan watched as Bender stuck his blade into the chair next to him, and as soon as he looked away, The girl in the black pulled it out and stuffed it in her bag. "Oop, not anymore," Alan said to himself. Andrew opened his mouth like he was gonna say something, but Claire jumped in. "I think I'll handle this one, Andy." She walked to up Bender and instantly started going off on him. "Let's end this right now. You don't talk to him, you don't look at him, and you don't even think about him! You understand me!?" She shouted. "I'm trying to help!" Bender said, still defending himself. Alan smiled. He was happy that someone, anyone  would care about him enough to actually defend him like that, let alone that person being the queen bee herself, Claire Standish. Wow... he thought.

     A little while after the fight, someone walked into the room. It wasn't Vernon, thank god, it was Carl, the janitor. "Brian, how ya' doing?" Carl asked with a friendly sounding voice. "Your dad works here?" Bender asked with a smirk. Brian buried his face in his forearms, embarrassed. "Hey, Carl?" Bender managed to get his attention. "What?" "Can I ask you a question?" "Sure." "How does one become a janitor?" "You wanna be a janitor?" "No, I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because...Andrew here, is very  interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts." Andrew looked down at his shoes, blushing. Alan chuckled. "Oh, really?" Carl began to lose his friendlier sounding tone. "You think I'm just some untouchable peasant to serve? Peon? Huh? Maybe so, but after following a broom around after shitheads like you for the last eight years I've learned a couple things. I look through your letters, I look through your lockers..." that phrase grabbed Bender and Alan's attention especially. "I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends." Carl began to walk away, but not before having one last thing to say. "By the way, that clock's twenty minutes fast." "Shit..." Brian mumbled. Bender and Alan looked at each other, giving mischievous grins.

     After bit of silence, Bender started whistling, and everyone else joined in, even the girl who hadn't said anything became a part of it. It actually became quite fun, until Vernon showed up. "Alright girls, that's thirty minutes for lunch," he said. "Here?" Andrew asked. "Yes." "Well, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir." "Well, I don't care what you think, Andrew." "Uh, Dick?" Vernon looked at Bender. "Hol' up, what's this about dicks?" Alan asked, intrigued. "Excuse me, Rich?" Bender corrected himself. "Dammit..." Alan said to himself. "Will milk be made available to us?" Bender asked. "We're extremely thirsty, sir," Andrew added. "I have a really low tolerance for dehydration," Claire said. "I've seen her dehydrated, honey. It's nasty!" Alan said. "Relax, I'll get it-" "Ah, ah, grab some wood there, bub," Vernon said, making Bender sit back down with a devilish grin. "What do think, I was born yesterday? Like I'm gonna have you roaming these halls? You!" he pointed at Andrew. The jock motioned to Claire, hoping he'd point to her next. "And you!" he pointed to the girl in the back. "Hey! What's her name? Wake her, wake her! Hey! On your feet missy, let's go! This is no rest home!" the girl got up and stomped over to Andrew. "There's a soft drink machine in the teacher's lounge, let's go!" Vernon ordered.

While the two were gone, the ones who were still the in the Library decided to sit closer to the stairs that lead to the second floor. Claire leaned up against the statue that sat behind all the tables, Brian sat on the railing, Alan sat on the floor below Brian, and Bender sat on one of the tables, a book rested on his knee. "Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with Elephantitis of the nuts? It's pretty tasty." "No thank you..." "How do you think he rides a bike?" Claire looked at him with utter disgust. "Oh, Claire? Would you ever consider dating a guy like this?" "Can't you just leave me alone?" "Looks don't matter honey, what if he had a good personality, real funny, real smart, had a nice car, then would ya' date him?" "Although, you'd probably have to ride in the back seat 'cause his nuts would ride shotgun," Bender said, making Alan laugh. "You know what I wish I was doing?" She asked, turning her head to the side. "Oop, watch what you say, Brian here is a cherry." Bender teased. "A cherry? Brian asked." "I wish I was on a plane...to France..." Claire said to herself. "I'm not a cherry," Brian insisted. "When have you ever gotten laid?" "I've laid lotsa times." "Name one." "She lives in Canada, met her at Niagra Falls, you wouldn't know her." "Ever laid anyone in here?" Brian made a motion towards the redhead that sat across from him. "Oooo!" said the pretty boy, making Claire turn around. "What?" she asked. "Nothing, let's just drop it, we'll talk about it later." "Drop what? What are you talking about?" "Honey, you are so lucky! You're actually gettin' some of Brian's dick!?" "Little pig!" she yelled, pissed off as all hell at Brian. "No, I'm not! John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't. That's it! That's all that was said!" "Honey, why were you motioning to Claire then?" "You know, I don't really appreciate this, Brian." "He is lying!" "Honey, you weren't motioning to Claire?" "You know he's lying, right?" "Were you, or were you not motioning to Claire, girl?" "Yeah, but it was only...It was only because I didn't want her to know I was a virgin, okay? Excuse me for being a virgin, I'm sorry." "Why didn't you want me to know you were a virgin?" "Because it's personal business, It's my personal, private business." "Well Brian, It doesn't sound like your doing any business," Bender teased. "I think it's okay for a guy to be a virgin," Claire said. "You do?" Brian asked. Claire nodded with a smile, and Brian smiled back.