Most of the Time

Chapter 5

I walk in the house as silent as I possible could. It was almost midnight and the house usually goes silent around 10. My body ached and I was exhausted. I decide that it would be a good idea to shower before I pass out. I head to the kitchen first to grab plastic wrap to act as a barrier for my wounds against the water. The gauze and tape on them shouldn't get wet, Nurse Angie would kill me. The shower was short lived since it is difficult to stay standing for so long. It felt weird going back to normal activities after the last couple of weeks I've had, but good at the same time.

I woke up that Saturday to the sound of bacon crisping and eggs frying. I was nervous to walk downstairs and face my family. I knew I was due for a stern yelling twice over for both the amusement park and beach trip. I make my way into the kitchen seeing my mom and brother cooking seemingly in harmony. My brother notices my arrival first and we perform the classic "guy handshake". My mom quickly follows with kisses on both cheeks and a swaying hug.

"Sorry" I whisper in her ear

"You should be, I missed you" she responds. "You're not going anywhere today; you're staying here with your brother and I."

"Oh no I have plans. Nice to see you sis" my brother Sam quickly adds. He grabs his plate of food and disappears up the stairs.

"Well just you and me then" Mom says

We decide to watch the recordings of Big Brother on the DVR. Big Brother is our favorite show, so we decided years ago to only watch it together. My recent absences have left 6 episodes waiting in the DVR for our enjoyment. In the reality show, complete strangers are placed in a house together and through competitions and evictions, one person is left in the house winning half a million dollars. The Big Brother house is kind of like my life and I'm just trying not to get evicted.

After watching all 6-hour long episodes we decide to bake something. I've always been the chief in the family. Everyone in the house could respectfully learn a thing or two from me. We decide on a sweet potato pie, a household favorite. I worked on the dough while my mom started the filling. It was weirdly quiet in the kitchen, and I could feel a speech brewing.

"Em, you know it's not your fault, right?" "There's no way you could have prevented that car crash from happening"

"If it wasn't my fault then why am I the only one hurting" I reply

She instantly drops the whisk in the bowl and walks over to me. "Look at me" she asserts "First of all, the car malfunctioned. Second, I'm hurting too. Not physically but do you think it's easy for me to see my daughter in such pain. You act all laid-back like nothing matters but it does. Everything happens for a reason Em. Don't let this be an excuse to feel sorry for yourself. Use this summer to go out and find the reason before you go off to college. Yes, that includes going to the beach and amusement parks. I'm a mom, I know everything."

I roll my eyes

"You missed a lot of your senior year, prom, and you're still recovering from the surgeries, I know and I'm so sorry, but consider this a hall pass. It's okay to feel something. Don't be afraid to show feelings" She stares having never left my eyes. "Don't be a life donner" We both break out a laugh to her terrible joke in her serious rant. Both of us with water building up in our eyes.

We go back to making our pie and I think about what she said. I was confused about how she knew of my two trips, but even more skeptical of her being okay with it. Either way she's right. I made a plan for this summer to be different, but I'm still holding back. I'm leaving for college, not sure where yet, so that means I have nothing to lose.

Mom quickly adds, "That doesn't mean to go off willy-nilly and mess up your recovery. Nurse Angie told me your wounds looked worse so she said we should start cleaning it more often and also to start measuring the liquid coming out of your drainage tube. Add that to your busy summer schedule please. I let you go to your appointments with Lily, but I still expect you to tell me what she says"

"There's my mother" I respond jokingly.

As we continued baking, I hear the key enter the front door and open. It was a toss up between it being my dad or brother. I hear the clicking of work boots on the wooden floors and know instantly. My Dad walks in, meets my eyes, and begins his rant. Not listening to a word, he is saying, I walk over to give him a hug in the hopes that he would stop talking, but he continued. He smelled like metal and outside. His labor-intensive job as a mechanic gives his odor a pass. My mom must have gestured him to stop because he stops talking.  I've realized that my mom is one of the few people that can stop my dad mid rant. He stops and hugs me back.

"I missed you kido. How are you feeling?"

I didn't want to lie so I gave him a thumbs up and a smile to ease his concerns.

I head to bed early feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders and my body gradually losing its aches.