Chapter One

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by Loserific

by Loserific

*KELLIN'S POV*

I hurt myself everyday just because a few words, a few hits, and no love, I wrote in my journal. This journal seemed all I truly had. I met this girl when I was 17, which I still am, but she turned out to be a cheat. I just want to find someone who truly loves me. I don't like depending on the blade, I don't wish to think of suicide as the only answer, but it seems to be. I don't have anyone who really cares, my parents act as if they care but I'm sure abusing me isn't love. I'm pretty sure I wasn't planned they treat Hudson and Deveareax like angels.I find relief in a blade. I find relief in my own self destruction and all I have is music. The songs I write are the only way I stay alive, but will I stay alive much longer?

*VIC'S POV*

Recovery why must you hold so many relapses,

Why must you not come easy

Why can't you come faster

I just want to be better.

I was writing in my notebook before my mom stormed in, she hadn't heard from me in two hours and was worried. Just two days ago I was released from a behavioral support hospital, Old Vineyard. I was sent there due to a suicide attempt, self harm , and bulimia. Now I'm still alone with the false hope that psychiatrists give but I rather have false hope than nothing at all. It's the idea of it all, would you rather be happy with false and sweet lies than be upset due to something you can't change? I'm not sure why I couldn't simply has successfully took my life. Was there something more to life than what I was going through. Was happiness possible? Is it possible not to be bullied? Not to want to feel nothing, for no one and nothing. Was there more?

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Hey beauties! Thanks for reading my first story on this page.

This isn't a real chapter just some background information. I'll try to update three times a week.
I hope you enjoy this