Hallucinations

𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮

Song- FATAL-ALTER. Enjoy y'all. Peace. Back with the third chapter
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I was unable to catch any sleep. This time it wasn't the heat that bothered me, but Alex. I had no fuckin clue what I had to do tomorrow to impress him. Maybe I already had impressed him today, but i was sure takin' no chances.

Lea was out. Well to be completely clear and truthful , she was being fucked by Zen. I mean i can't blame her to be atractive. But i was rather lonely today. I had no one to be with and nothing to do. On top of it all, Alex's awfully adorable face kept on popping up in my head. I wanted to be sinned by him, and i was ever so certain.

Remember how fuckin awful are late realisations? Yes i had one more. I couldn't seem to reminiscene the fact, wether i had questioned Alex about him dating any chic' out here. I mean he was hot, smart and charming. Something any girl would die for. "Fuck, I'm such an asshole!" I murmured. I was supposed to be perspicacious.

It was clearly midnight by now and Lea wasn't here yet. I was a little worried. Well rather so secluded i couldn't handle being alone. I had affirmatively made up my mind to go out and look for Lea or atleast get my self some coffee.

Thankfully I didn't have to make my way down my bed as Lea rushed into the room.
She whispered "Sky turn off the light, Snake is coming!!!" Then tossing herself on her bed as i switched off the lights as told so.

THE Snake mentioned here was actually Mrs Jenna. The dorm head. She was the one who ensured no one dilly dallied (ykwim). She knocked once and entered our room. We were completely silent. I infact snored a little. It was certain that she didn't find anything suspicious as she left our room as soon as she entered.

Both of us ensured the SNAKE was far far away from our room before we dared to swith on our lights. Which i did a couple of minutes later. I screamed "What the FUCK was that? Why was she following you?". Lea was rather chill and excited too.

LEA: Oh my fuckin gawddddd Sky. It was so good. Zen was a horny lion. Man plus he loves his boobs. He unhooked my bra pretty darn quick. The best part was when his lips intertwined in mine. He tasted like Booze. I could feel him touching my body with those hands of his. I moaned hard. AND I MEAN HARDDD. Pretty sure he had his fun too. I really didn't want it to stop. As soon as we were finished, i was returning. But the Snake saw me, well not my face as my back was pointing towards her. So we kinda survived tonight. But Sky, Zen is so different from my past. He made me feel special. I was happy. Okay now off to bed ;).

I mean i was basically speechless didn't care much if she failed to answer my question cause I had to handle Alex and now Lea's erotic experience. It felt as if my life was a porn movie where i wasn't the porn star. Like what the hell was i supposed to do by hearing to Lea being sinned by Zen. I mean i was happy for her but it was certain she is used to it.

The Next Morning, I told myself. 'Today is the day!' I was pretty uncertain though, but had this weird sense of confidence in me. Maybe it was my day.

Our first lesson was on religion. I never liked relegion. It was something that i could never relate myself with. But Mr. Fills our headmaster who apparently taught us religion saw a keen sense of development in me and i hated it. But he did teach me one thing. Religion is a pathway for us to explore the deeper and darker aspects of us humans. We are a complex celestial beings with a simple past that is way vast for us to dig into yet. Only one's faith in GOD can seek through this darkness and find themselves in the light.

It sure was too much to take in but those were words of a man who was ten times more experienced and had vivid knowledge on how our world worked. And i couldn't deny it.

But changing topics. Alex and I shared 3 lessons each day. Though i usually sit with Lea, but her being occupied by Zen made Alex and me be together for rather longer hours. It was perfect. Everything was as i thought it should have been. I kinda felt like i belonged here.

Being with Alex made me forget everything. All my hardships, depression and other cliche shit a teenage girl feels when she is secretly in love with a man. Before recess Alex and me decided to go to their smokin' hub as we planned. Sure to ask him about his relationship. The place was beguiling. It was next to what looked like a cave like structure. It had a few couches and a table. I could see some stalked ciggs. Alex mentioned no one knew about it other than the four of us cause people feared venturing into the forest.

He handed me a pack of Malboros from which i took one out and Alex lit it with a lighter which he always had in his pocket. I had never smoked once before and was exhilarated yet petrified about it. I wasn't sure *I never am* if i was gonna be alive after the smoke.

One breath in and i was on the floor grabbing my lungs grasping for air. I was an atheist but that day i begged for mercy to GOD. Alex handed me a bottle of Vodka. And oh my god it tasted like nectar. A peasant like me never had the privilege of drinking under all the norms i was burdened on.

I mustered up my audacity. And asked about wether he was actually dating someone. My head was pointing downwards and i ensured i didn't blush in order to not give him any clue that i had a soft corner for him.

His voice lowered and i could sense bad news coming my way. He held out his lighter and asked me what i saw in it. I gave the pretty obvious answer. He smiled. I was pretty sure my heart melted.

ALEX- This ain't just a lighter Sky. It's a memoir. Back last semester. I dated this beautiful woman named Dellilah. She was the girl i imagined to be with. Cute, smart, funny and loving. She was the most beautiful person by heart i ever met. She was special.

I could see tears rollin' down his chin. I wasn't sure what to tell and what not to. I somehow figured i wasn't the one for him.Thereby just to have a conversation on. I asked him- "Where is she now?" I couldn't hear him speak. I was confused. But i was not prepared for what was about to come in my way.

"DEAD." He delivered. There was a deafening silence. How come a little get together turn into this. I was sad but i knew Alex was broken. I had no clue what i had to do. It hurt me not to be able to help him. I was the reason for his dreaded self. I felt pathetic.

Leaning myself towards him, i pulled him close to me. I looked into those hazel eyes. His eyes were like an ocean and those tears felt as if the ocean was about to lose all of its water and i was responsible for it. Both of us were unaware of what was going to happen next.

I looked at his lips. Red like a rose. I knew i had to deal with the thorns. But i wanted it. I wanted to feel his pain. To share it. I wanted to bleed, the sweet ichor. I wanted to sink in his ocean. And so i kissed him. I didn't care what he thought about me. I just wanted to feel him once before i could lose him forever. I wanted to be ruined by him. When my lips retracted i could see a smile on his eyes. I didn't know what to expect anymore.

But what came next wasn't foretold. He pulled me. Grabbed my waist. His lips were on mine once again. I realized how much i loved being ruined by him. I could feel his tongue dancing with mine. He had my heart and i had his. This was no hallucinations.

But i wasn't meant to be his. I wasn't right. I pulled myself away. I wanted to run but his presence was ever so overwhelming. Alex was certainly in love. He held my hand and asked me the question which i first intended to ask. "Skylark White. Do you love me?"

I sobbed the very instant i heard those words. I had no fucking answer for the first time. I gave a jerk to his hand and left at once. I didn't even look back. Not cause i was disgusted, but cause if i did i feared i couldn't run away. I still remember my tears dripped like the rain during the pre-monsoon season.

I ran straight to my room and planted my face on my pillow. I couldn't care much. I had ruined it for me. My lips still wanting more of Alex but my heart aching cause of it.

Maybe it was just a hallucination.
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Yes you have come to the end of this chapter. Thanks for the patient reading. I love you all. Please dont mind the grammatical errors and mispelled words. Peace :).