Sanscest/UTMV Oneshots (Vol. 1)

Dream || (Part One) Was it Only a Lie?

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING ONESHOT CONTAINS IMPLIED DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SUICIDAL IDEATION.

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

~oOo~

There was a time that Dream remembered quite vividly.

It was way back, before Nightmare ate the apples and their home was destroyed. When the villagers were still there. When they were still selfish and greedy. When Dream hid his problems with a smile and Nightmare simply avoided his problems.

One time, amongst the many times it had happened before, Dream had hurried into the forest as a getaway. He didn't run. He couldn't. If he ran, he would've been caught and things would only get worse from there. He had a fast pace about him, though, as he had to get to his clearing before the tears could start.

Well...he supposed it was too late. His vision was already starting to blur. Whether the tears were of sadness, frustration or simply overwhelming emotions, Dream didn't know.

He did know that he was so tired of crying like this. It always happened. Well, maybe not always, but often enough for Dream to be frustrated and mad with himself. He didn't understand why he cried like this. He wasn't even sure he wanted to, as that meant admitting he wasn't okay, wasn't perfect. It meant making Nightmare worry. It meant making Neil worry.

...He didn't like being worried about.

And, he remembered, the words practically drilled into his head by now, as the villagers always say, "You shouldn't be worried about. You are Positivity. You cannot be worried about. If you think you should be, then there is something wrong. You are wrong. If you are wrong, we will need to fix you. Again."

He shivered, which didn't help his goal of trying to suppress his feelings. The tears started overflowing, falling down his cheeks and sending little jolts of...something that just made him feel worse. He tried to wipe them away, even though he knew they would just keep coming. They never stopped for a long time.

Dream didn't like the 'fixing' that the villagers had come up with. If he could even call it that. It wasn't as extreme as the measures they used with Nightmare (which, yes, he knew about to an extent. He knew that he was missing stuff. But he doesn't want to make things worse by interfering.). They mostly just locked him up in a small, small place. They made sure he told Nightmare that he wouldn't be at the tree for a couple of nights before they did, so Nightmare didn't worry.

He hated it. He would be left with his thoughts and darkness, unable to see his own body. He would barely be able to move. That wasn't even the worst of it. If he was what they defined as 'really bad', then he would have to wear a sort of...blocker. It shut off his ability to feel the auras of those around him. Which meant he couldn't tell if someone was around or not. He wouldn't be able to tell if he had been abandoned, forgotten.

Luckily, though, the blocker didn't happen often. In fact, if Dream was counting correctly, it had only happened three or so times before. Which was still three times too many, in his opinion.

But...he was making this about him, wasn't he? He didn't mean to. He wasn't supposed to. It just...happened sometimes. Dream thought he was getting better at it, but apparently, he was wrong. This wasn't about him. His problems didn't matter. He could live with them. In fact, he probably deserved it.

What mattered was making sure the villagers were happy enough to leave Nightmare alone. Or at least lighten up. They could punish him as much as they wanted. He just wanted his brother safe. Happy.

...That wouldn't happen if he kept playing the victim, if he kept twisting this so they become about him.

Dream huffed out a weak laugh. His vision cleared up enough so that he could see that he had gone in the wrong direction. He wasn't at his clearing. Not at all. He was in front of a cliff of sorts. Below him, there was just a bunch of darkness. There was another cliff opposite of him, which made this a ravine. Which meant that there were rocks at the bottom of it.