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Chapter Seven

7.

For the next few days, he lives life in a daze. The throwing up has subsided and he's able to leave his room and more importantly, the bathroom now. So, he decides to make his way down to the canteen the next morning, hoping to see Ben or Ashley, and hoping their happy to ignore the fact he just spent days curled round a toilet. Ben is already gone when Edward emerges from bed, in clean pyjamas, and freshly brushed hair. He pulls on his usual beanie, and for the first time in a while looks in the mirror. He quickly looks away again, shocked at the reflection he sees. Thin face, sharp cheekbones and sunken eyes. The usual red rim around them has faded slightly. They now aren't as red as they used to be. Edward takes this as a good thing. He doesn't give himself another glance but instead pulls on his white robe and follows the usual path down to the canteen. The smell hits him as soon as he enters the room and makes him stomach flip. He's not in the mood for food this morning.

"Edward," Ben calls from the same table he was at on the first day, "Over here."

Edward strolls over, eyes darting around, he feels as though everyone is watching him. Judging him. When he sits down there's a couple of boys who he doesn't recognise. He doesn't say anything, just sits and thankfully takes the cup of water Ashley passes to him. He gulps it down and then reaches for the jug to refill.

"So, you're the one who's been stinking up the third floor with vomit?"

Edward looks up and across the table to where the voice came from. And that's when blue meets brown for the first time. Edward stops filling his cup up and places it down in front of him. He's not sure what he's meant to say in reply to this boy. This boy, who's sitting with a grin on his thin cheeks, and perfect lips. This boy, that Edward thinks might be the most beautiful boy he's ever seen.

"Adam," Ben says before Edward can reply, "You know we're not supposed to say stuff like that".

"It's true though," the boy Edward can now assume is called Adam replies and picks up a spoonful of cereal, "Did absolutely stink up there. Surprised you're still alive to be honest, Ben."

Ben rolls his eyes and Ashley lets out a little snigger but glances at Edward, making sure he's okay. In another life, Edward would have smiled and laughed and made a joke back. But that's another life, a lifetime ago, before the pills came into his life and took over his very being. Adam, the boy with brown eyes, smiles and pushes his hand through his hair.

"No offence though, mate. Just a bit of banter".

Edward nods and looks down to his untouched second cup of water, "Yeah. Bit of banter".

Adam seems to gauge that Edward isn't in the mood to have banter or laugh or even talk in general. So, he turns away, and begins chatting to the other boys at the table. Edward stares at a spot on the white wall and tries to zone out of the chat around him. He tries, he really, really tries not to listen to Adam's voice. But he finds it hard. Because he really likes Adam's voice, it's smoothing and relaxing and makes Edward feel safe. For the first time since arriving, Edward feels as though everything might be alright. When the nurses call out that breakfast is over, Edward stands and goes to pick up his cup, wanting to down it before their sent off to therapy. But his hands shake so violently, the cup tumbles out of his grasp and the clear liquid spreads over the table, gliding seamlessly onto the ground beside Adams feet.

"Oh," is all Edward can whisper, he stares at the liquid pooling around the trays and cups sitting on the table. Ben just shrugs and turns to catch up with Ashley who had glanced at it once and then walked away. Edward looks helpless around for a second and then fixes his gaze onto his shaking tired hands. He notices the blue veins bulging out of his hands and pulls them into fists. Hoping the shaking will cease. It doesn't.