The boy who wished he hadn't lived

"A fresh start"

Harry's pov
Draco hugged me and for some reason i didn't resist. He then pulled away from the hug "I thought that your life was perfect,everyone did,it's hard to beleive that your life is actually like this." said Draco "The only reason no ones figured it out yet is because i'm really good at hiding it." i said in almost a whisper "Well,i know that we were never friends and we've always hated eachother but i was wondering if maybe you wanted a fresh start?" Draco asked "So you're saying that you want to be friends?" i asked "yes.That's exactialy what i'm saying" Draco said in a stern but sweet voice "Okay then,my name's Harry Potter,nice to meet you" i said "Malfoy,Draco Malfoy" said Draco while extending his hand. I took his hand and felt happy for the first time in a long time,but that happiness soon drifted away "You know he only pitties you,right? He doesn't actually want to be your friend." said the voice "I already know that,but atleast he's pretending,that's better than before" I thought. I must have zoned out because i realized that Draco was calling my name "Harry!Harry!" I snapped back to reality and put on a fake smile "Yes?" i said "You zoned out for a bit there" he said the worry slowly draining from his face "Are you alright?" he asked "Yes!" No I thought. "Okay good i was worried" Draco said "I'm good No i'm not,i just have a habbit of spacing out" i said. It wasn't a complete lie i did have a habbit of spacing out but i'm most definetly not good. "Ok" Draco responded "But you have to promise me that you won't cut yourself anymore,ok?" "Ok!" i lied,i don't like lying to Draco but there's no way i'm going to be able to keep that promise. Soon we arrived at Hogwarts and me,ron,and hermione all sat together at the Griffyndor table. The sorting hat put people in Slytherin,Hufflepuff,Ravenclaw,and Gryffindor and then the feast began. I didn't eat anything because,like that voice likes to remind me,i don't deserve food. I wasn't paying attention until i heard someone call my name,i looked around to see that it was hermione "Harry,are you ok? You haven't eaten anything." hermione asked in a worried tone "Yeah i'm fine No i'm not fine,i just ate alot on the train so i'm not hungry." i lied in the happiest tone i could muster "oh alright but could you atleast eat something?" asked hermione. I really didn't want to eat but i knew that there was no arguing with hermione so i put some chicken and a piece of bread on my plate and started eating "I'll just throw it up later" I thought. Just then i noticed that Draco was talking to Proffessor Snape "I wonder what they're talking about?" I thought. Appearantly i had zoned out again because the next thing i knew Draco was infront of me "Hey Harry,could you come to Snape's office after dinner?" he asked "Sure,but why?" i questioned him "I just want to talk to you and that's the best place to do it." he said "Oh ok then." i said as he walked away "He's probably gonna say that he doesn't want to be my friend anymore." I thought as i continued eating. Soon dinner was over and as i was walking out Draco pulled me to the side "Come on. let's go." he said "One second.I have to go to the bathroom so just go and i'll meet you there,ok?" i said "Oh alright then,see you there." he said as he walked off. I quickly made my way to the bathroom and locked the stall door. I then made my self throw up all of the food i had just eaten "That's right,you deserve to be hungry." hissed the voice "I know." I thought back to it. I got cleaned up and made my way to Snape's office where i saw Draco waiting "Oh hey!What took you so long?" he said as i walked over to sit next to him "I just didn't feel well." i said as i saw Snape walk through the door "What's he doing here?" i asked draco "Oh well i kind of...lied." he said looking at the ground "But it wasn't a total lie because i said that i wanted to talk and i do i just didn't tell you that we were gonna be talking with an extra person" he mumbled but i could understand him "Ok...well then what did you want to talk about?" i asked Draco "Well..." "Draco can you get on with it,i don't even know why i'm here" said snape "Well i just wanted Harry to be able to talk to someone about...well...you know what i'm talking about Harry,and i just wanted you to be able to talk to someone about it other than me and i really trust sev (snape) and i know that you two don't get along but he's an adult and he can help you more than i can!" yelled draco "Wait...you don't mean...Draco you don't actually expect me to seek help from him do you!?" i yelled "Yes actually i do." he said in a calm voice "Harry,you need help and he may not act like it but sev is good at dealing with things like this so please just give it a chance." Draco said "Ok.I would like to know what's going on here!" yelled snape "Harry do you want to tell him or should i?" asked draco. At this point it was obvious that draco had made up his mind and snape would be finding out about all of my problems so there was no point in fighting "I don't like talking about it or hearing other people talk about it,so you can tell him,i'll be sleeping in my dorm. Tell me how it goes tomorrow alright" i said "Ok" said draco,and with that i left.