Breaking Down the Wall

The Song

Forth's POV

The competition was finally here and I watched Yo from backstage for most of the night. He was amazing. He said his part exactly as expected, perfectly poised. He danced through the program, smiling. For a guy who thought he'd never be able to stand up there at all, he carried it off beautifully. I was so proud of him.

I found a place in the audience during the talent exhibition. I didn't want to be distracted by other competitors preparing for their parts. When Yo stepped up to the piano, I was dying to hear his song. He had never let me listen to it when he practiced, asking me to wait until tonight. His fingers moved over the keys in perfect harmony. But when he started singing, I held my breath in awe. That boy could sing!

"I like me better when I'm with you.
I like me better when I'm with you.
I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time 'cause I like me better
I like me better when I'm with you."

I was entranced and from the look on the faces of most of the crowd, so were they. My heart felt like it would beat out of my chest. I wanted to go to him right now, but I was frozen in place, watching him. Then someone's voice interrupted my thoughts, Ging started talking to Pha, who was near me. When I heard him say Yo's name, I listened to them.

"Yo is amazing, isn't he? We didn't choose him to be our Moon because of the answer he gave at the meeting. We asked, what is love? I don't even remember his answer, but he came up to me afterward and said he was in love with you. He came to study at this university because of you. He wanted to be a Moon because of you. It was all for you, N'Pha," Ging's words each felt like a bullet to my heart.

The rest of the competition was a blur. Yo received more roses than anyone else, even without the roses I had planned to give him. I just stood there, watching. He won the Most Popular Moon, the Moon with the Best Skin, and the Second Runner Up awards. He smiled through all of this and then happily applauded his best friend, when Ming was named Campus Moon. Still I just stood there watching. My world had stopped spinning and no one had even noticed.

When all the awards were given out and the contestants left the stage, I went back to find Yo. I knew I had to talk to him, he was expecting me, but I could barely bring myself to look at him. The song he sang still played in my head. He sounded just like an angel, but my heart shattered a little more with each word.

"You were wonderful out there, N'Yo," I said, trying to sound like my heart wasn't shattered. I kept my eyes focused on the ground, holding back my tears. I want him to be happy, so if he loves Pha, I will let him go. I just hope Pha will try to deserve the love he's being given.

I turn to go, desperate to leave before Yo knows how hurt I feel, but he stops me by grabbing my wrist, trying to see my face.

"Didn't you like my song?" Yo asked. I could feel the tears threatening to spill and I knew I had to get away.

"Of course I liked your song," I said, still refusing to look at him. "I just have somewhere I have to be right now."

Yo watched me for a moment, I tried not to see the way he was looking at me. My face was down-turned and I was still trying to turn to leave while he held my wrist.

"You don't feel the same," Yo said, his voice full of hurt. He let go of my wrist, "It's okay. I understand. You don't have to hide it from me."

I looked up at him to find his eyes full of tears. I turn toward him just as he turns his back to me. I don't feel the same? Why would he say that?

"What do you mean, N'Yo?" I asked, refusing to allow myself to hope.

"You don't love me," Yo said, his voice almost a whisper. "I hope I didn't embarrass you. You'll still be my friend though, right?"

"The song was for me?" I asked, trying to hear over the beating of my heart. I grab his shoulders and turn him to face me.

"Of course it was for you, P'Forth," Yo said, looking confused, "who else would I sing that song for?"

That song was for me! Grabbing Yo's hand, I pull him along with me. I need to talk to him in private, so I take him into an empty room and shut the door behind us.

"P'! Why did you bring me here?" Yo asked, looking around.

"N'Yo, look at me, okay?" I asked. "I have a question to ask and I need to hear your answer."

"Of course, P'Forth," Yo said. "You know I won't lie to you."

"That song you sang was for me," I said, trying to keep my cool. "I'm not misunderstanding. You want to be with me, right?"

He looks at the ground again, face going red with embarrassment and tears beginning to fall.

"Yes," Yo said and quickly continued, "but I understand, you don't feel the same. I'll be okay, you don't have to feel bad."

I take a large step, closing the space between us and pull Yo's body flush with my own. With one arm around his waist, I hold him tightly and use the other hand to guide his face to look at mine. I lean down to put my lips on his.

At first his lips are gentle and hesitant. I just want to feel them against mine, but as his arms come up around my neck and pull me closer, I can't help deepening the kiss. I nibble along his bottom lip and then swipe my tongue across it, requesting entrance. He opens his mouth for me and I thrust my tongue inside to taste him. He moans at the sensation, and I pull his body even tighter to mine. Soon his tongue is twisting with mine and my hand moves from his waist to grasp his firm bottom. I can already feel the hardness in my pants making me uncomfortable. As I use my grip on his backside to grind him against me, I can feel he has a very similar problem.

His quiet moans and the way his body feels pressed to mine is driving me crazy and I'm beginning to lose my grip on where I am and why I should not be doing this here. I'm brought back to my senses when Yo pulls away from me to take in a shaky breath and then puts his head on my chest, hiding his face in my neck.

"Be my boyfriend, Yo?" I asked, trying to calm myself. I don't want to lose anymore time. "Let me be a part of your life and make you happy?"

"Are you sure P'? If you're doing this because you feel bad for me, please don't," Yo responded.

"It's not because I feel bad for you. There is no one more important to me than you," I said honestly. "Please, be mine?"

"Yes," Yo said. He smiled at me with his sweet, shy smile and I take hold of his hands once more, heading back out the door.

"Where are we going now?" Yo asked.

"I'm taking you somewhere more private." We walk to the door, smiling and holding hands.

Author's Note: This is what I imagined for the piano part of the song. I'm sure you've heard it, but in case you haven't. "I Like Me Better" by Lauv.