A Million Tears (Wish 2)

5 - Penance

"So is it because of me they call you the monk?"

He snapped his head up to look at her. "Who told you that?"

She had a faint blush on her cheeks. "Every time I mention my trip to the ER, the next question is about my doctor. What is it with people and their fascination with doctors? My father is just a man."

"A gifted man. You didn't answer who."

"My college roommate works with your friend in surgery. She said he calls you a monk and even a virgin. Don't worry I didn't correct her."

"It's not that bad. It's just I've been busy becoming a doctor and, um, being a doctor." His excuse sounded lamer than it did in his head. The truth was he had been punishing himself for what he did to her. He had pressures to make his life count. Pressures most people wouldn't understand.

"OMG! You need to loosen up." She stood and took the empty bowls to the sink. "Life is too short to waste it."

His body went tense. What did she know about short lives? He knew more than any person should. Don't be angry, it's not her fault. She won't know if you don't tell her. He let the tension ease after his internal pep talk. He had no intention of telling her. He didn't talk to anyone, except his mother. It was his way of coping. When people knew they look at him funny and he didn't need the pity. He had lost touch with his high school friends years ago. He didn't like to look back. Ironically, he had been looking back for twelve years.

He felt something on his legs. When he looked down her black cat rubbed against him. He reached down and ran his hand along the soft sleek fur. Under his hand, he felt the vibration of the cat's purring.

"It's just that night was not who I am. I'm not that kind of guy and it scared me, so I just focused on things other than sex. Shit, I'm a nice guy. Got a flat? I'm the one to call. Need a place to crash? You name it. I'm there for my friends."

"You sound like me. I was always bailing my brother and sister out of trouble. It's not so bad now they're adults, but I felt like I had to be their voice of reason and they hated me for it."

She didn't understand how lucky she was. "Didn't you ever get in trouble?"

She smirked and her green eyes twinkled in the light. "Aside from my first successful business venture, only once but even then I didn't get what I deserved, because I lied and went to a party and got drunk. I only got in trouble for missing curfew."

He listened to her words and as if a bell rang in his head about what night she was referring to.

He couldn't stop his smile, although it wasn't funny. "You were sober enough to run when I told you the time."

"And to have my friend text my mother we were going to be late. She didn't even look up from her book when I got home. She trusted me and probably never even considered we were drinking. Still, I knew she was disappointed, because she told me my father would deal with me."

"What did he do?" He didn't remember his father ever being strict.

"He made me feel like crap, because I disappointed him. You heard him, I'm the responsible one. Then he changed my curfew to ten for the week with no driving."

"You drove! You're lucky you didn't get killed." That was stupider than what he had done.

"No! Not me. We had a designated driver. We weren't that stupid." He felt himself physically relax. "So are we good? I think your penance is over. I'm not saying I didn't look back with regret, but I moved on years ago. No hard feelings. Really."

He studied her to see if she was telling the truth. It would have been easier, if she wasn't even more beautiful than she had been at seventeen. If they were just meeting for the first time and he wanted to care about another person, he would be in trouble. The wall around his heart protected him from doing something stupid like asking her out or worse pulling her into his arms.