Have You Forgotten?-XuMinghao

.13.

Minghao's POV

I left Jun's room and went to my room. I sat on my bed and sighed. Was it my fault? I could have moved Jun out of the way. I should have been the one to get burned! Ugh why couldn't it have been me. I moved to the floor and hugged my knees. It should have been me. All I do is cause the other members pain. I started crying. If Jun has to feel pain, I should too. I got up and went to the bathroom.

I deserve this. I caused Jun pain. He's gonna be mad later and break up with me. I hate this. I hate myself. I. Hate. Life. I opened the cabinet where the blades were kept and grabbed the sharpest one. I know Jun already knows, but I don't care. This is who I have become. I put the blade to my stomach and slashed harshly.  It hurt like hell but I deserved more. I slashed and slashed until I was able to count 12 bloody cuts. One for each member I have hurt. I added 2 more. One for my mother. One for my father. They never cared anyways. I thought I had the members, but I was wrong to assume. I fell to the floor and cried and cried.

I got up off the floor after about half an hour. I washed the sink and blade. I wiped the dried blood off my stomach and put my shirt back on. I walked out of the bathroom and started to walk around the dorms. Looking for something to do. I walked past almost all the members, most not bothering to give a glance. I decided to just sit outside, by the front door. I laid there enjoying the warmth of the sun. I started to become sleepy, as I leaned against the wall. I wondered where my life went wrong. I used to be happy. I used to have my members love and support. I used to love myself. Now I'm depressed. My members hate me for some reason. A few tears ran down my face as I slowly drifted off to sleep.