𝘼 𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙇𝙀 𝙏𝙍𝙐𝙏𝙃 | 𝙏𝘼𝙀𝙆𝙊𝙊𝙆{✓}

realization

"but what's really best for me?"

I can't believe you.

You really did all that just to get me back?

I hate it.

I hate you.

I hate me.

I hate it so much because I know deep down I loved it.

If I didn't have a boyfriend I might've even said yes.

That's when I realized.

I'm not over you.

I never have been.

I've just been running away from my feelings.

I can't believe I'm so pathetic.

To still love you like I do.

And that romantic gesture you did only solidified the fact that I still love you.

But I can't love you.

I'm supposed to be better than this.

I'm supposed to be stronger.

Yet here I am falling for your pretty words and sweet gestures again.

This is suffocating.

All these feelings.

I hate them.

I can't be here.

I need to leave.

I need to admit everything to myself.

That I still love you.

That I don't love my boyfriend.

That I'm not as strong as I make myself out to be.

These thoughts swarmed my head for a while.

Until I finally decided what I needed to do.

What was best for me.

I need to leave.

And then maybe I'll be right within myself, truly, once and for all.