Chapter 2 :" Falling Apart"

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After the terrible night Gauri believed it would get better as days passed but it only got worse instead

In night she couldn't sleep because of fear of nightmares , they were the same over and over again the face of the man who harmed her and the number of times she spoke with him as a friend . She never would have imagined he would hurt her and yet he did .

She knew there was no justice to what happened to her , her father may be a Deputy Commissioner of Police but even he can't punish people who are dead . She didn't have anyone to blame after his death and it was why she turned the blame onto herself .

Not for what happened that night but for not being able to move on from it , for not being able to stop her brother from shying away from her presence, for not being able to help her mother stop worrying about her ,for not being able to talk with her father more than two words at a time and for not being able to step out of her house without a cause ever since that night .

She couldn't walk outside her house , every stranger suddenly felt like a threat to her and she refused to do so without reason ,her mother had convinced her to go to the weekly sessions with the psychiatrist who was supposed to help her but it didn't help in the least .

Ananya Singh was patient and kind to her , she didn't push Gauri to talk about the night but she encouraged her to talk which Gauri refused to do so , there for over an hour both of them sit in silence for the most part as Gauri remained unwilling to speak up about anything . It wasn't an act of disobedience or self destruction ,it was just the way she was even before that event .

Gauri never confided in anyone even her best friend Lavanya had been unaware of most of her thoughts,the only person who knew her better was the man she loves and yet talking to him was the last thing she could do after that night .

All it took her was a month to fall into depression that spiraled out of control , she became more closed off than before and awhile Ananya prescribed medicine to help her it didn't work in making her become normal again .

It was just like any other day in the Singhania household ,her brother was off to school ,her mother hovered over her and her father was off duty that day and yet he closed himself in his office because he knew Gauri won't step out of her room freely when he was around .

She wanted to make them stop worrying ,she popped two of her pills the doctor prescribed and went out of her room in hopes of making her parents believe she was getting better but it didn't work out the way she planned .

When Gauri offered to help her mom in kitchen ,the smile in her mother's face was worth the effort until she was tasked with chopping carrots , a task she used to do so often ever since her parents adopted Ishaan and learnt Carrot was his favourite .

She believed she was in control of her emotions until her hands sliced her wrist instead ,at first she was too shocked by her actions that she kept starring at it as if she gone crazy ,her mother scream brought her father out of his room and carry her to the hospital all the awhile begging her to stay alive . The last thought she had before losing consciousness was the fact it would have been better if she stayed in her room .

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Two days later

Gauri Singhania walked as her feet led her ,and as she climbed the long stair case she knew the disaster her actions would leave in its wake , she tend to believe the slice to her wrist two days ago had been accidental on her part but her parents refused to feel that way .

48 hours they hovered over in the hospital room waiting for her to make the same mistake again , she didn't want to live but she didn't think she was capable of ending it either .

As yet another nightmare woke her up ,she found her mom asleep by her side and she felt too suffocated to stay in the room any longer as she made her way out of the room and walked towards the stair case in need of air .

She knew if her mom woke up before she returned then she would never even sleep because they won't believe her claim for fresh air ,every object around her for the last 48 hours were deemed hazardous even the phone in her hand were snatched away as it may lead her to search for ways to die .

The moment she stepped on to the terrace ,she felt free and as she walked towards the edge of the rail . She felt a flicker of fear at the prospect of falling from such a tall building , most likely it would be a instant death because she shuddered to think of her suffering for days before death .

Then she shook herself for thinking along the lines ,she wasn't going to die not when it would leave her dad with guilt ,not when it could leave her mom broken and not when it could destroy the innocence of her brother by the knowledge of her death and not when it could break his heart .

Just for a breath of fresh air ,she chastised herself and her eyes looked down the rail once again . She knew she was lying to herself that her actions weren't suicidal but admitting them even to herself was something she wasn't ready to face yet .

She didn't know why she sliced her wrist two days ago ,the knife did provide a temptation of sorts to end it all . She didn't think beyond the fact she wanted it to be over ,she didn't think about her parents or her brother and she didn't think about him .

Then she noticed she wasn't alone and fear suppressed her as she let out a scream of terror . Because a stranger was standing on the thin rail himself as he swayed too and fro ,she realized he was drunk . And when he turned towards her ,she began to run heedless of the way .

She was terrified now and when she accidentally stumbled upon a potted plant and found herself fall ,she wished for quick death instead of unconsciousness because she knew from experience when you faint everything falls apart . Also because a part of her longed it to be over .

P.S :" That it for now . Let me know your thoughts and feedbacks . Hit the votes if you liked it "

Juanita Reid

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