Behind My Eyes

April 7 , 2020

Dear Journal,
Let's talk about friends. What's the point of them. They don't listen to anything I say or care about my existence. Like no joke I was in a nice relationship with this boy and we really liked each other and he asked me to be his girlfriend and was ecstatic and jumping with joy. The next day I find out that my "best friend" was upset and cried in a bathroom stall when she found out and didn't want to talk to me anymore because I was dating that boy which she also liked and at the time I didn't know like that was her first time bringing him up. She then told other people that I was a lesbian and she's surprised I had a boyfriend. Now if you knew me I am a genuine and nice to everyone type of person and this just made me upset like I went home and cried. Soon after I broke up with the boy because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feeling and the girl started talking to me again. Now you see a lot of my stories I'm telling you are real and you will get annoyed because I am such a push over and will doing anything for anyone as long as others are happy. Now me and that boy still have a great friendship it just will never be more. But anyway back to the friends thing. I mean when I tell you a secret I expect you to keep it not tell the whole neighborhood that I have never had my first kiss and am waiting to find the guy I love then lose my virginity. Like now everyone calls me the 40 year old virgin and a prude but I mean of course I laugh along because I don't want to be made fun of more then I already do. I mean I just wish I had someone who was actually good for me and wouldn't make me feel like I need to go kiss four guys everyday or lose a whole bunch of weight to be excepted into a certain friend group like is it too much to ask to have normal friends. Ughhhh I'm just stressed I think I don't know.its late now and I'm crying so um.

Lil Mang has exited