Short Stories

A Pain Unforeseen Part 1

This story touches on the topic of miscarriage and I know that it is a sensitive topic and I dont wish to offend anyone or anything like that. This is just me trying to branch out of the "safe" things to write about and delve into the more grown up topics so to speak... If you are uncomfortable with this topic in any way feel free to skip. This story shall be in 4 parts as it turned out to be a longer story than anticipated.

As Emma parked her car in the hospital parking lot she felt her anxiety run its familiar route through her body. She had arrived for her twelve week scan but she had experienced quite a bit of cramping over the past few days and her nausea had practically left her. She didn't want to jump to any conclusions yet, it was probably nothing and  she could feel her brain start to overthink. "This is the day where I get my answers to whats been happening." She told herself sharply. Her anxiety had indeed worsened since she found out she was pregnant. She adjusted her jacket and straightened her jeans. Emma walked as confidently as she could towards the looming building.

She wove her way down the winding, impossibly white corridors to the maternity ward. "Emma James, here to see Doctor Ryans." She announced to the receptionist, at the entrance of the ward, with as much confidence as she could muster. The receptionist looked up at her nervous complexion and smiled warmly. "Yep, just wait down the hall and she will come collect you." His voice cracked with lack of sleep. Emma was taken aback by the smile she had received; she returned the smile politely. 

The chairs leather material scratched at her back and she wiggled uncomfortably, trying not to disturb the other mothers to be. Some were nearing the end of their pregnancy time while others were like her, just getting started. All in varying degrees of discomfort, she chuckled to herself and focused her eyes to the TV screen overhead.

Soon the sound of clicking shoes echoed around the waiting room. A short figure practically skipped her way through the door way clutching a clipboard tight to her chest. Her tawny hair was tied back into a tight ponytail that it looked like her hair was going to be ripped from her scalp. She spoke with gusto and a loud "Emma James, Doctor Ryans will see you now!" rippled from her mouth.

Emma layed herself down on the bed in Doctor Ryans office; her hands subconsciously protected her stomach as a tall, lean woman with a pinched face wheeled in the ultrasound machine. Doctor Ryans spoke with a bored tone and dumped the ultrasound gel on Emma's bare stomach, she switched the machine on and ran the scanner over Emma's stomach multiple times, going round in circles over her skin. Her face left no tell of what she was seeing; Emma couldn't tell if that was a good or bad sign. Eventually, when Emma thought the scan should be over, Doctor Ryans lent closer to the screen and muttered something under her breath, circling the scanner again, searching as if something wasn't there. Emma felt her heart crack slightly.

"Wait here." Ryans barked sharply at Emma before exiting the room with speed Emma didn't know she could possess. Anxiety reared itself in front of Emma's  eyes, stamping its hooves in anguish at her, screaming, black and ominous in the compact room. Ryans returned a moment later dragging another doctor by the arm, she pointed at the screen Emma couldn't see then circled the scanner around her stomach yet again. The other doctor looked confused, he glanced down at Emma's chart before looking up at the screen again, his face went pale.

"Mrs James-" He started, before clearing his throat. "I'm afraid that there's been a complication with your pregnancy, here," He turned the screen around so Emma could see, he took the scanner from Ryans and gently took it around Emma's stomach once more. "Usually around here we would begin to see the baby's form growing, its small so we have to look quite closely however," He stopped moving the scanner. "In your case Mrs James, there is no baby there." Emma stared at the screen in disbelief, her eyes were met with a black empty space. A black empty space where her baby should be. "I'm so sorry Mrs James, but it seems  you are suffering a miscarriage." In that moment, Emma's whole world shattered. Her body went numb and her heart tore itself in two.

It was an agonisingly slow journey home. With every turn of a wheel, Emma kept re-living that moment. Other things were said afterwards, like how she could try again in a month once she had her next menstrual cycle, those words fell upon deaf ears in the hospital. What would she say to her husband Kieran when she got home? They had both been so ready and eager for this baby, this baby meant everything to them. What would he do? Would he leave her? She quickly pushed that last thought away, she trusted Kieran and knew he loved her, he wouldn't even consider leaving.  She kept swallowing down the urge to break down then and there in the car. When she eventually turned onto the driveway, she could see his tall figure through the window. He was still in his work clothes, a pale blue shirt with a black waistcoat, smart trousers and  his polished shoes probably tucked away on the shoe rack. She loved the sight of him. Her heart leapt into her throat and she felt tears sting her eyes with its burning liquid. She was reluctant to get out of the car, when Kieran turned and waved at her through the window, she had no choice, she couldn't run away from this.

He opened the door to her. She kept her eyes to the ground as she took off her shoes and coat, placing them both away neatly. She heard Kieran's footsteps edge near to her; his chocolate voice addressed her. "Emma, love are you ok?" She brought her head up and met the concerned eyes of her husband a few metres away. She couldn't fight the emotion anymore. Without uttering a single word Emma broke down in tears and ran to her husbands arms, entangling herself into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed audibly and uncontrollably into him. Gently stroking up and down her back. Everything in her cried out in agony and emptiness she didn't know how to communicate. She felt Kieran lead her to the living room. She clung to him tightly, in fear of losing him too. The smell of his cologne and natural musk calmed her slightly, but not enough to stop the tears. 

Kieran felt his own heart break at the sight of Emma's pain.