Ziva had missed the comfort of her home. She was so relieved to be out from the hospital. They could now start their new life as a family of four. Adam was asleep in Ziva's arms. When they walked inside the apartment, Tali rushed directly to her bedroom. Hospital room were definitely not very amusing for a 7 years old. Ziva walked to Adam's bedroom and lay him on his crib. On the wall on top of Adam's crib was hanged a frame with one of Tali's drawing. Not every drawing. It was the drawing that she offered to Tony to announce him that he was about to be a dad again. The drawing that announced Adam's arrival in the family. Ziva looked at Adam and Tony wrapped his arms around Ziva's waist. He kissed the crook of her neck and looked at Adam. They stood still for long minutes.
Later that night. Ziva was lying in bed. Tony walked out from the bathroom, sprawled on the bed and signed. The day had been pretty intense and he was still trying to adjust to his new life with a newborn. Ziva was looking at him with a mocking smile. She asked:
-"are you ok ?"
-"I think I am dead on the inside"
Ziva let a little laugh escape:
-"you should get some rest, it's only the beginning..."
-"How did you managed to do this on your own ? I don't get it"
-"it has not been easy at first. Orli helped me a lot but Tali had been a pretty easy child to raise. She had been sleeping all night long practically from the beginning"
-"she inherited that from me"
Tony loved to hear Ziva talk about Tali's first years of life and he never felt resentment on the fact that he wasn't there.
Ziva smiled:
-"well thanks then"
Tony raised from the mattress and kissed Ziva:
-"you're welcome, the pleasure was mine.." A mischievous smile spread on Tony's face "Talking about pleasure..."
Ziva looked at him with a questioning look. Tony leaned over her and whispered:
-"babies are sleeping in their beds... we have a few hours before Adam wakes up..."
He kissed her and he obviously had planned for more than just kissing but Ziva stopped him right away:
-"I thought you were tired ?"
-"you know I am never tired for that"
He continued his kissing but once his hand started to venture on her body she stopped him and said:
-"6 weeks...."
-"what ?"
-"6 weeks without sex... doctor's orders"
-"what ? 6 weeks is a lot.. 6 weeks is more than a month... 6 weeks is..." he counts the days on his fingers then abort the idea and said: "I can't survive this" Tony pretended to have difficulties to breathe "see I am having panic attacks too"
Ziva laughed, leaned over him and kissed him softly. She winked and whispered: "you'll be fine... think about the finish line"
Tony collapsed on the pillow, dreaming about the moment they will be allowed to have sex again. He sat back and said:
-"ok, if we can't have sec, then there is some adjustment to make, starting with your clothes"
Ziva looked surprised and offended
-"what's wrong with my clothes ?"
-"they are overly sexy.."
-"what ? I wearing a tank top and a pajama pants ! What's sexy in that ?"
-"I can see your skin... too much for me"
-"Oh my god.. you are..."
She stopped not knowing how to describe him.
-"you have to stop using that voice too.. that husky, sexy, tempting voice"
-"which voice ?? That voice"
She put on her most sexy voice and leaned to him.
-"stop.. stay away from me woman..."
She placed her hand on his thigh and he surrendered:
-"ok I'm gonna sleep on the couch"
He stood up, grabbed his pillow and walked to the door, leaving a laughing Ziva on the bed:
-"come on Tony ! COME BACK HERE! TONY COME BACK !"
Ziva and Adam were back home for more than a month now. Ziva had been struggling with anxiety. It was happening at least once a week. The panic strike had started again after Adam's birth. The only thing that soothed her crisis was to get some time alone with Adam in her bedroom. Tony and Ziva were trying their best to protect Tali from it but the little girl was not stupid. When Tony got out from the bedroom he crouched next to Tali and asked:
-"are you ok ?"
-"I wanna see Ima"
-"not right now baby"
-"why can't I see Ima ?"
-"because Ima is having some difficulties and she needs some time alone"
-"is this because of him ?"
-"what ? No, it's not your baby brother's fault. See, I already told you that Ima had some difficult choice to make when you were a baby and she is just scared that it might happen again"
Tali looked shocked:
-"Ima is scared ? I thought only children were scared"
-"no Tali even grown ups are scared sometimes"
-"even you ?"
-"especially me. You should not be ashamed of being scared. Everyone has fears. You, me, ima, grandpa Gibbs. I am scared all the time. I am scared that something wrong might happen to you, Ima or your brother. What are you scared of ?"
-"spiders and broccoli"
Tony laughed:
-"alright I feel you on the broccoli. Come on you should not worry about Ima. Ima is gonna be fine. We're all gonna be fine"
-"but Adam is not going anywhere right ? He's gonna stay with us forever?"
-"yes of course. Adam stays with us and Ima will get better. Ima always gets better. Wanna help me prepare dinner ?"
Tali smiled and nodded vigorously.
