If Only (The100)

6 years

It's been 6 years since Primfiya. We haven't heard from the people in space and the bunker is sealed inside. Octavia and I had to do things that we can never forgive our sleds for. We bore it so that they didn't have to. I am known as Wanheda. Whenever someone broke the law and threatened our lives, I would ruthlessly murdered them. Octavia became Bloodreina. She forced people to fight in the killing range. But since I was know as Wanheda she took her own tittle. Echo is still a spy. She would report any crimes to us while Niylah created things.
Octavia and I created a fighting range. Anyone who broke the law, had to fight to the death. It was hard at first. But we were running out of food. Who ever died, would be our dinner. We killed anyone who resisted to prove a point. It was the only way to survive. Octavia and I shut down our emotions completely. We knew that if we allowed ourselves to feel guilty then we would die form our pain. It was the only way. We hated ourselves but couldn't show weakness. The blood of the dead became our war paint.
6 years later, the bunker door open. I looked up and saw Bellamy. He came back too late though. Times changed and so did we.
"Clarke. Octavia"
"Bellamy?"
"What happened to you?"
"Death happened here"
Octavia pitches in, "you don't know what it's like. You are wonkru or your enemy of wonkru."
"We kill those he neglect. It's the only way"
After a few minutes of silence a voice in the crowd yelled , "kill that blonde bitch"
Out of rage I threw my knife into his chest.
"He choose enemy"
Bellamy stared in shock. He told everyone to get there things but no one moved.
Octavia watched them and said "go get your stuff, it's time to go." I nodded and walked to the exit.
It was the first time in 6 years since I've seen the sun. I looked to my side when I saw Echo and Niylah. They walked over to Octavia and I to discuss what we would do. I felt an arm on my shoulder when I realized Bellamy was listening to us.
"Bellamy, I.... AHHHH UGHHHH AHAAH" I started screaming in pain, everything began to get blurry, I could barely hear anything. The voices in my head were screaming at me. I was falling to the ground. I felts someone grab me as I began to shake. I heard Bellamys voice.
"What's happening to her? Your not going to help?!" Then I passed out.
(Bellamy pov)
."This happened to her twice a month in the bunker. She'll be alright. As long as she or the commanders don't get upset." Octavia mumbled holding Clarke as I carried her over to lay her down.
"What do you mean commanders?"
"When we first got to the bunker, Clarke would randomly pass out and say that she saw Lexa and that she would help her lead. But one day I mentioned you and the others and she started to seize. Clarke woke up a few hours later saying that some of the most ruthless commanders attacked her. They started choking her and tried to kill her in her own mind. Lexa never came back. The other commanders managed to block her out of her own mind! They locked her own sister out of her memories because she missed her! So trust me, they are doing way worse to her now because she cares about you. She'll be like this for a while so just leave her alone. She's my sister now, so is Echo and Niylah. You left me! They didn't." Octavia was screaming at me. I just stared at her and then she motioned to Miller "lock him up"
I felt Miller grab me and place me in a room.
"What are you doing"
"Octavia and Clarke changed. Their ruthless. Octavia overheard some of our people saying that you were trying to tell them what to do. Ima warn you, watch out for Echo. She was the one spreading news about you. She is demanding that you fight in the ring. Octavias just trying to protect you."
"Bye Miller"
I was in the room for a couple of minutes. I knew I had to do something so I called out Miller's name.
"Sorry Mil"
I hit the back of Millers head and he passed out. I ran over to where Clarke was. I had picked her up. When I turned around I saw Octavia.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to save her. She needs the flame out of her head"
"She doesn't want it out. She's the commander. She only started seizing this badly when you came. Put her down and leave before she wakes up."
"She wouldn't even seize if this was out of her head"
"Even if you take the flame out, the commanders will stay in her head. She bonded with them. I'm trying to protect you bell. Just put Clarke back"
"And I'm doing this for you both."
"You don't know what it was like for us. We were alone! We won't think twice about putting you in the range. When Clarke was conscious she said that the commanders want her to kill you. But since she loves you she's trying to fight. She's in pain. We did things we aren't proud of. We did it to survive. Because you decided to escape, you have to go to the gorge. It will be a fight to the death. Just give me Clarke and you'll have a chance to survive."
"No. Octavia you have to trust me"
I turned around and saw Niylah. She punched me and I was hit in the back of my head.
(Octavia pov)
I had hit the back of Bellamys head with my sword. I couldn't let him take Clarke. Niylah has carried Clarke back to her tent. I placed Bellamy in a chair across form Clarke. I needed him to see what was happening. It would be the only way he would understand.
Bellamy may be my blood but Clarke was my sister now. When Lincoln died so did I. I couldn't live without him. But then Bellamy left me by myself for 6 years. I begged him to stay behind but he left Clarke and I anyways. We were broken. We had to put each other back together. But the proved didn't fit the right way. They had cracks and started to rust. We became the thing we feared.
(Clarke pov)
I tried to fight the voices in my head. But I was too weak. They were torturing me in my own mind. They thought that Bellamy made me weak. They thought the same thing about Octavia but when she started to kill people they accepted her.
The commanders wanted me to kill Bellamy. I was fighting them for what felt like eternity. Until I saw a female figure. It was Lexa. I haven't seen her for ages. I ran up to her. She told me that she would grant me two wishes to help ease my pain. The first thing I thought of was Lincoln. When I turned around I saw him. I ran up to him and hugged him. My brother was back. Or at least it was a memory of him in my mind.
"I missed you brother"
"I missed you too. But I found peace . Don't be afraid Clarke. Your family is apart of you. Tell Octavia that I love her. You two were the best thing that happened to me. I gave Lincoln one more hug as I watched him disappear. Lexa was still here. For my second wish I asked her to get rid of the other commanders but she told me that was impossible. Instead she made them stop driving me crazy. I would be able to have some of my own mind for once. And then she was gone.
I woke up crying and screaming.
"Octavia. Where are you?"
"I'm here Heda. I wasn't going to leave your side. Did something happen?"
"I saw lexa and Lincoln. He told me that he found peace and loved you"
I watched as Octavias eyes start to swell up. I grabbed her forearm and gave her a hug.
"Clarke, Bellamy tried to take the flame out of you. He chose Enemy."
I turned and saw Bellamy. He had gotten up to hug me. I started to smile but then I passed out. The commanders were fighting with me. I fought them off but their thoughts filled my head.
"Octavia I can't do it. Their killing me." I started to scream again. I was crying but then my expression went dark. I looked over at Bellamy.
"They want me to kill you. I have to do it."
"It's ok I forgive you." He smiled at me.
"Put him in the gorge. He will fight for his life. That is the deal I made with the commanders. Octavia you are not needed her. But you are needed in the bunker." Octavia walked outside.
"Clarke." Bellamy said. He grabbed my arm and I fainted. Sheidheda was stabbing me.
"Clarke. Wake up."
I woke up and felt Bellamy holding my head in a tent.
"Bellamy" I whimpered.
"Clarke"
"I'm so sorry"
"It's ok. It's not your fault. Octavia told me everything. I want you to know that love makes you strong not weak"
"I have to go"
"Don't. If it's my last night then I want to spend it with you."
I couldn't help myself. I leaned in and pressed my lips against his.
"I still love you" I said in between kisses.
"I love you too Clarke"
(The next morning)
The voices in my head seemed to stop. This was the first time in six years that I was able to here myself breathing. Maybe Bellamy was the key to stopping them. I allowed love into my heart and they stopped fighting with me.