Jokes & Quotes from the Internet

Jokes & Quotes part 3!

31) Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

32) To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

33) If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

34) A woman is like a tea bag – you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.

35) My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

36) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

37) You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there

38) May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

39) What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France.

40) Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says "Good joke". Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.