Jokes & Quotes from the Internet

Jokes & Quotes part 7!

71) Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: 'How to Build a Boat.

72) Person 1: "Surely you can't be serious."
        Person 2: "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley

73) There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.

74) My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

75) Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something

76) The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.

77) I died on the inside years ago. Now, I am just a fleshy container full with coffee and resentment.

78) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

79) If you are too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

80) If one door closes and another door opens...your house is probably haunted.