My Virtual Darcy 🏆 2021 Wattys Shortlister

12 - Schrödinger's Cat

"Hello, sweetheart. Why the long face? Is your migraine back?" Mom removed her apron and dropped a sniff-kiss on my forehead.

"No, it's gone. I'm just, err, preoccupied by my Creative Writing assignment." My head bowed down with a cry. I had yet to overcome my writer's block, unless I wanted Ms. Favreau to put me on her Need Personal Mentoring list. I shuddered at the idea of being locked down with her during office hours.

"Good. Could you please set the table for two?"

"Where are Dad and Ames?"

"She went out for lunch. Your father is in the garage, trying to repair the vacuum cleaner."

"What's wrong with it?"

"I don't know. It didn't start when he attempted to hoover the stairs."

She switched on the television in time for the summary of this morning's news. A jewelry store had been robbed in Ottawa. The Minister of Finance was quitting the government to open a sugar shack. A celebrity got their nudes leaked.

Uninterested by the headlines, I played with my food, moving the sautéed rice from one side of my plate to the other.

As Mom helped herself to a second serving of lok lak beef, I blurted out, "How did you know that Dad was the one?"

She gulped down her spoonful before answering. "What makes you think that your father is the one? Maybe we are unhappy together. Perhaps I have a mistress and two gigolos on speed dial."

I rolled my eyes, unfazed by her joke. "Mommy, please. You guys are so lovey-dovey that Hallmark movies pale down in comparison."

"Why are you asking? Is it for your assignment?"

"Yes," I replied, instead of, "I have a crush on a guy with dreamy blue eyes; however I eavesdropped on him telling his BFF that I was flat-chested, so I confronted him but couldn't extort apologies because my drunk neighbour interrupted us, and by the way, the guy is not real."

A smile curled up Mom's cherry lips. How she had managed to keep her lipstick intact in spite of the sauce was beyond my comprehension. "Remember that episode of The Big Bang Theory? The one in which Penny and Leonard wondered if they should jeopardize their friendship and go on a date?"

"When Sheldon explained that, for Schrödinger's cat, the only way to know was to open the box? That's how you knew: by snogging Dad?"

"Yes." She giggled like a teenager, a silly grin livening her face up.

I sighed, my fork poking at the yolk of my sunny side up egg. "So, all I have to do is kiss him?"

"Kiss who? I thought this was for your assignment."

My hand twitched and the yolk broke. I watched it run down the diced meat, pondering if I should vent to my mother.

Mom shrugged and patted my forearm. "You know, kitten, even after that first blissful moment, our relationship hit a few rough patches. And still does to this day. If love was a smooth business, no one would ever write songs about it. Or books. Or movies."

The lock of the garage door clicked inside the kitchen, warning us of Dad's return.

"Darling?" His voice was unsure, with a trace of guiltiness.

"Yes, honey?"

A cloud of dust preceded my father while he made his entrance in the living room, coughing and sneezing. His salt and pepper hair contained more salt than usual. Way more salt. A similar layer of dirt caked his face, crumbling down to the floor as he managed, "We need a new vacuum cleaner."