His First July

Chapter Fifteen

I know, it hurts, it's hard to breathe sometimes, these nights alone, you've lost the will to fight.
Ruelle
(Carry you)
                                  _His First July

Chapter Fifteen

COLBY

Bullies.

I’d always known that if I had been given a chance at a normal life, I'd have definitely fit in the criteria of the kids to get bullied. I'd have been the kid that got pushed against lockers, the kid that got pranked endlessly, I'd have most likely been entertainment to the bullies and other students who got the privilege to be a witness to the scene of my humiliation. 

Sometimes, I thanked God that I wasn't like every other kid, because I know quite well what I'm capable of. I didn't have it in me to curse, pick a fight or get back at someone who tripped me on the way to class. I wasn't the kind of kid who'd have the guts to stand up for himself. 

Sometimes, I just wonder... How do bullies think? How do they feel after making someone else's life feel like crap? Do they even sleep at night? Were they unaffected by guilt? Do they even have peace? 

And then I think about the “why”. Why would they want to make somebody else's life hell? Why would it please them to see tears fall from their victims eyes? Why would they feel pleasure in hurting other people? 

Then there comes the “what” questions... What do they gain by it? What is their main goal? What is it they truly want from the victim. 

I never really did understand, since well... It's difficult to tell why people do strange things, but I guess not everyone can be good, there's got to be a bad guy... Without bad guys like the bullies, kids like me would never learn how to speak up for themselves, they'd never learn how to be strong and confident... They'd never learn that no matter how much people tell them they can't, they should know in their hearts that they can, they'd never learn to smile even if it feels like the world is against them for a day. 

Bullies, I believe, exist because there are kids like me who really shouldn't shy away from the cruel terrors of the world. We should face it head on... Never ever run from that fear, cause it'll only keep chasing you until you end up at the edge of a chasm... Face that fear, whatever form it might come in, and you'll see, you'll see that you would become stronger. It's the power of fear. 

I personally think that these bullies pick on kids like me because they know, deep down that we have something great in us, something they can never have, something they cry and beg everyday for, but will never get, that's why they pick on us, just to make us feel the exact way they feel as they realize this. 

But the moment you show them that they can't break you, they will back off, they'd run with their tails between their legs cause they're going to remember the real reason why they started picking on you, and then, because of that same reason, they'll leave you alone, because they know they can't have it, or beat it. 

I knew I was the kind of kid who would get bullied, but I still saw no reason why? I mean... Why would anyone want anything I have? I don't have anything that can possibly be of interest to them. 

"It's said here by your doctor that you need to be excused from any stressful exercise, Willis." 

I tore my eyes from the threatening looks on Daniel and his friends’ faces, looking back at the coach.