I Need You to Come Home

Chapter 17- Our Future remains Ours

"I forgive me."
That was the first thing Sara whispered when she came back, before her eyes opened, before she could feel anyone.

Is that you? I can hear you Sara- I'm here babe I'm here for you.
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Her eyes opened, and at first, she couldn't seem to get enough of the air that filled her lungs.

"Sara?" She heard Amaya's voice. "Sara, can you hear us?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Sara could see Amaya gesturing at something on Sara.

As though through a rush, everything that had happened to her came rushing back. Ava, Elan, Chloe; she remembered everything before and during the ordeal. Sara couldn't quite comprehend what Amaya was saying to her- it all sounded like a bunch of words that molded into a jumble that Sara vaguely understood. It was only when Sara's sense of touch came back did she realize that Ava's left hand was holding onto her left hand, and Amaya's hand was grasping her right hand.

As Sara's senses slowly returned, she began breathing more and more easily.

"...Gideon.... off ventilator..."

"Wha-" Sara tried to speak, discovering that there was something lodged in her throat that made her unable to speak. As she kept trying, her gag reflex began kicking in, unable to stop coughing as Gideon began to extract the machine that had been helping her breathe while she was under Chloe's mysterious injection. As Gideon continued to monitor her, she felt a hand on her back, soothing her. She felt a rush, as she realized it was Ava who had gotten up, and was speaking softly to her.

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Sara had been conscious- and with Gideon's careful monitoring- well, for about three days. Ava hadn't left her side since she'd first woken up, although both she, Oliver, and Ray had all been surprised when she had been able to fully recount what had happened to her. Constantine, on the opposite end, rarely came in to check on her, leaving as soon as Ava had woken with Sara.

There was a part of Sara that knew that Constantine felt guilty for what had happened to her. And, it wasn't his fault. Everyone knew that. But what was worse was Ava.

Sara knew that Ava was holding a façade in front of her, and although she needed to confront her about it, it just simply was hard to find the right time to. Neither did she want to; the two of them were spending so much time together- Sara in the Medbay, with Ava curled into a cot next to her. It was cute, almost, watching Ava sleep at night. But Sara knew Ava had nightmares, had her own bout of guilt.

The way Ava stared off into empty space during the day- the moments she thought Sara was asleep- and the times Ava simply got up and stared at a wall. Sure, Sara had her own demons she had to fight, they all did. But it felt like her demons were eating everyone else up.

So she got up.

"Sara-" Ava spoke as soon as she'd realized Sara was beginning to attempt to push herself off the medbay chair, "Gideon hasn't-"

"Look Ava," Sara said, cutting her girlfriend off, "I need to say something or this team will end up eating itself from inside out." She nodded her head at Ava. "Please ask the team to meet in the bridge."

As she stood up, she knew vertigo was going to hit her at full strength. She didn't care. Because seeing the light dim in her teams' eyes, the guilt that constantly shimmered in them, and the pain that they felt for her.

It wasn't that she felt no pain, nor was it that she felt the need to hold a mission so quickly- it was that she needed the team to heal together, and not potentially lead to a "Blame-game group."