Journey Back to Me

Chapter 8

"Michelle, baby, come on. This hide and seek shit is no fun," Reece is slurring his words. He's shitfaced, outside my house yet again.

I just need to stay silent and stay still. He can't find me up here. He can't even get in.

"This isn't funny anymore, Chelle. I'm getting angry. You know how I am when I'm angry!"

Why does his voice sound closer? I thought my dad was home, and he's a light sleeper. There's no way in hell he would let a drunk teenage boy come into his sixteen-year-old daughter's room at 3 am. Especially not this drunk teenage boy.

My thoughts are interrupted by three loud bangs out my door, followed by a crash that shakes me to my core. Reece bursts into the room, storming towards me, and for a second, I think he's going to hit me, but instead, he just presses his fat, sweaty palm to my mouth to silence my screams.

My attempted screams almost immediately turn into whimpers of pain and tears are streaming down my face as he forces his body weight on top of me. I can't move, I can't breathe. Wake up, Michelle. For god's sake, wake up!

"Michelle! Michelle, baby wake up!" My eyes fly open to see my dad shaking me by my shoulders and Toby licking the combination of sweat and tears from my face.

My dad's eyes are red and rimmed with tears as he stares down at me. I feel more like a child than a twenty-four-year-old as I fall into my dad's arms and let myself continue to cry.

"It's ok. He's not here. It's just me." He pulls me in tighter as if he's trying to protect me from my dream.

"And me," my mom's groggy voice comes from my bedroom door. Jamie is standing behind her, looking terrified.

Great. I woke everyone up.

I pull away from my dad before starting to apologize profusely. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake everyone up. You should go back to bed. You have to be up for work in an hour and a half," I glance at my father. He looks back at me, and in the reflection in his eyes, I know I'm just a scared little girl with night terrors.

"Stop apologizing. How long has it been since you've had the last nightmare?"

Okay, I guess this is a family discussion now.

"That was the fourth one this week, I think. But I'm fine. I'll call Deena in the morning."

"Please do that. They have to be getting worse if they're making you scream and cry like that. Even Toby is scared for you," my mom nods towards the dog I didn't realize I'd been absentmindedly petting for the entire conversation.

I nod in agreement and send everyone back to their rooms.

This is escalating, and I'm spiraling. I take a few deep breaths and hear Jamie snoring down the hall as I try to go back to sleep.

His loud breathing takes me back to Florida, back to the behavioral health center, back to the prison where, oddly enough, I felt free for the first time in twenty three years.