Journey Back to Me

Chapter 3

I slowly blink myself awake to find a nurse sitting next to me. Who is this?

"Hi sweetie, I'm going to be your nurse for the day. Just to sit in with you and help you if you need anything." She answered my thoughts.

I start looking around the room as I take in the stark white walls and antiseptic scent. It's almost noon. I can tell by the sunlight coming in through the window.

"Do you remember how you got here, honey?" She has such a pretty smile, one that doesn't end at the corners of her lips. It reaches her eyes in the kindest way. But I have no response for her. What do I remember? I start to sit up but realize how weak I am. She rushes over to me, her brown curls bouncing around her delicate face and framing her caramel skin perfectly. "Oh, sweetie, you don't want to move too much. You're hooked up to quite a few wires."

Just as I take a deep breath to respond, I notice something. My throat feels really odd. Itchy, but not in the normal way. It's almost as if there's something inside my throat. As I bring my hand up to my neck, I notice a tube. I follow it with my hand all the way to my nose. There's a tube in my nose? That's going to my throat? What the actual fuck is going on here?

The nice nurse answers my thoughts once again, "They had to pump your stomach. The doctor doesn't know when they'll be able to take it out yet." She looks at me sympathetically and just as I begin to tear up, I see my aunt walk through the door with her coffee.

"Tracey?" I manage to croak out, and she smiles in return.

"Hey, sweetie. Your dad is on his way, but he had to stop at a hotel overnight since he drove all the way from Georgia. He'll be here in a few hours."

I never realized how grateful I was for my aunt to be living in Florida, just an hour away from me until this moment.

..........................................

I spent most of the next few days in ICU asleep or getting tested for this or that. I had to talk to a lot of doctors. Neurologists, psychiatrists, and one gynecologist for some reason. My dad wouldn't leave my side. I've always been his baby girl. I don't know why I let the voice in my head get the better of me.

When they pulled the tube out of my nose, I thought I was going to vomit. Tara and Bridgit came to visit me a few times. I couldn't apologize enough. They had been so kind to me, and I repaid them by putting them through this shit? Nobody deserves that.

When the psychiatrist came in on my last day, he said the words I was dreading. "Luckily a spot has opened up for you at the behavioral health center about 15 minutes away."

I just stared at him in disbelief for a second before finally managing to sputter out, "I'm sorry? BHC? Like a looney bin?" I couldn't believe it. I was going to an insane asylum.

"Michelle, this is important. And it's not a looney bin. There are actually a lot of people like you."

I will never get over the shock of just how right he was.