Why I did what I did was clear, I was protecting her, and protecting me from getting hurt again. I thought I was going to be fine and be able to move on. But that wasn't the case. I was upset like never before. All I could think of was Rita. I wanted to apologize to her but the usual "I'm sorry" wouldn't do it. I had to think of something special.
Last thing she told me was that things weren't good between her and Simon. She said she wanted me, and I rejected her. I thought hard until the idea of making a video hit me. So I began working, I gathered as much pictures as I could. I wanted to get pictures that reflected different parts of her life. An hour later, I had all the pictures I needed. Now began the hard part, putting these pictures in the right order. My idea was to have them arranged in a timely manner. I wanted my video to adopt a chronological order, an order that presented the stages of our friendship. And so I did after working for three hours straight. One thing was still missing, which was the song. The song had to be perfect. It had to be the kind of song that steers you to drift away. I was lost on which song to select, so I asked Rosy to help me. Rosy picked the best song ever. The song was "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey. I was done. The video was ready, and it was time to send it to Rita.
I wanted to get a second opinion on the video, so I showed it to Rosy. Rosy loved it. Now I was sure that Rita will too. The next day I waited until it was noon and sent the video to Rita. Thirty minutes later my phone starts ringing. I answer, and it's Rita.
"I hate you, you know that! Screw you! You do what you did and then this! THIS! I'm crying because of you right now!"
I replied:
"Rita why are you crying? I just wanted to say I'm sorry... You should be happy now, and but I hear the opposite"
Rita hanged up the phone, she texted me explaining that she can't talk right now and that she'll talk to me later that night. I waited and waited. I was worried for that was not the reaction I hoped for. Time was passing by slowly. Minutes were hours to me... And then I receive a huge text from Rita. In the beginning she heavily expressed how much she loved the video. She said it was perfect. That it was so emotional it brought tears to her eyes. That it touched her heart. That no one ever did such a lovely gesture for her. And that she forgives me. I was ecstatic! My video worked. I thought that I knew why she was crying. But while reading the rest of the text, I figured out the real reason. The reason was that Simon asked Rita that he wanted to go steady with her. He wanted a serious relationship. No more dating no more fooling around. He apologized for everything and promised her that he will change. And Rita said "Yes".
Normally I should be happy for her. Knowing that she is moving on and that she forgives me. So I congratulated her, wished her all the best, and gave her my unasked for blessings.
What was really happening was that the moment I read the last part, I felt weird. I felt as if the room was getting smaller, as if I was running out of air. A cold breeze went through my body and I felt excruciating pain in my chest. I couldn't stay in my room much longer. So I told Rita I had to go. I took my keys put on a jacket and went out of the house. I got in my car, started it, and drove. I didn't know where I was going, I just drove my car until I reached the beach. I parked my car and just sat there. Sitting there all confused wondering what the hell just happened to me... I asked myself:
"Am I in love with Rita...?"
