The Fear of the Past

What is She Thinking?

Stella's POV:

"Sorry." I murmur. Looking up at the red rimmed eyes that expressed concern gazing at me. He's been crying. They're puffier then they were before he played next to me. "I want to go home." I said.

"Stella you've only been out of surgery for two days and you just got move out of the ICU. You aren't going home yet." He said studying my face. "What were you thinking about? You seemed pretty focused staring at that chair in the corner." Slight humor gracing his tone.

"Nothing really. I was just trying to remember what happened on that call when I got hurt." I lied. I watch him as he looks me over, a sinking feeling in my stomach telling me that we both know I'm lying. "You should go home and get some rest Kelly. You look exhausted."

"I'm fine. I'm not leaving." He said stubbornly. I gaze at him. He still has some faint streaks of ash ion his face. He has obviously not showered or changed since I've been here.

"Kelly, go home and shower and rest." I mirror his stubborn tone. "Besides," I start, rising to lean over to wipe the ash from his cheeks, "you still have ash on your cheeks from the call two days ago. I'll be fine."

"You're worried." He said his eyes moving down to look at his hands. "You've been talking in your sleep.""

I freeze. "Oh god what did I say?" I say to myself. "Shit, does he know about my childhood?"

"What did I say?" I ask him, unable to hide the worry in my voice.

"You were just tossing and turning. Mostly mumbling. I could only make out a few words." He said looking back up at me.

Severide's POV:

I see relief flood Stella's face. She obviously can't tell that I am lying. "Why did her father dress them up for the CEOs? He could've dressed them in different clothes that would fit his family friendly image Stella was mumbling about...Why dresses?" I think to myself as my heart aches for the girl who I desperately want to open up to me. "Why is she so afraid to tell me?" I say to myself. I want to curl her up in my arms and shield her form the world. Her world.

"Will you please go home and rest?" She asks looking pointedly at me.

"Stella I-"

"Kelly have someone from the firehouse come over if you are really that worried." She said concern edging in her voice.

"Okay, okay. I'll go home and shower and change. But then I am coming right back. That's my final offer."

"Okay." She replies, her voice soft and gentle.