a private university on the other side of the country. his mother is not shipping him away to a distant faraway island, but she might as well have. he knows as well as she knows as well as you know that you cannot reach him there.
sometimes, a mother's will can be stronger
than the gods.
with your grades and your wit you could get into the university yourself, but it's the matter of paying that stops you from even attempting. it isn't fair you think it isn't fair at all.
you love him with all your heart and he's always loved you and how could distance change that?
already you know your days will be filled with thoughts of him.
has he eaten? is he sleeping well?
he won't tell you that he cries all the way to the airport. silent silver tears staining the maroon leather interior of a taxicab. the driver doesn't know him but he tells him hey, don't worry. it'll get better. he smiles gratefully, but he can't stop thinking of you.
you won't tell him that you want to see him. you don't tell him about the things that matter. just one last time, just one last kiss. you won't tell him that you decided not to go last minute, one foot already out the door. in your mind, you think saying goodbye means the end and the very thought makes you lightheaded and sick. so you go to work instead. you don't even text him goodbye. it'll take you at least a year to save up enough to come visit him.
then you can say hello
and pick up where you left off.
