His Fire

Chapter 8

*This is not edited. Sorry for spelling and grammer mistakes.*

Chapter 8

Meera's smirk turned into a full grin when she saw her friends shocked experience. She was back in the city, last night and after meeting with her agent and new employer this morning, she drove directly to the gallery. She had missed her best friend and was worried about her.

"Meera!" Camellia said with a little more emotion than usual. Meera was a crucial part of her life, even though she wouldn't admit it, she was emotionally dependent on that woman. Meera was a big support in her life.

"You are back." she stood up and walked towards her.

"Yep, came back this morning and gonna stay for a while." Meera replied while hugging her. "My god! You've become a stack of bones." She moved a little from her friend, looked at her from head to toes and give her a disapproving look. Meera noticed that since the last time they had met, six months ago, Camellia had become thinner, at a very unhealthy weight.

"You are not eating enough!" She scolded.

"I do eat." Camellia replied in a soft voice, the way a child, who when scolded by her mother, though guilty still deny to admit the truth.

Camellia, though she had tried to not care about her best friend, she couldn't. One Meera was damn persistent and knew her way around Camellia; and two, she emotionally could not.

"Heck Camie!! I am the model and you are skinnier than me! You still want me to believe that you do eat. It seems like you've lost ten pounds since I last saw you." Meera ranted.

Camellia cowardly retreated to her seat once she saw the fury in her eyes.

"Meera, don't worry I do eat. It's no big deal. I've just lost some weights." Camellia said in her calmest voice.

"No big deal Camie?" Meera exclaimed. The indifference of her friend was getting on her nerves. "I care about you Camie. David and Margaret do. Do you even understand? WE CARE ABOUT YOU GODDAMMIT!" During these past two years Margaret, David and her were trying their best to help Camellia. And yet that woman wasn't even trying to mend her wounds. She was feeding them.

Camellia had had enough. They all said that they care but in the end, ultimately they will leave her. Everyone does.

"That's what I don't want; I don't want anyone to care for me; I don't need anyone." She said in slow, emotionless voice.

"Are you fucking serious Camie? You don't fucking want us to care?" Meera was exasperated, that girl was getting on her nerves. " Then we are fucking sorry because we cannot not care! We are sorry that we love you. We are damn sorry that we disapprove of your unhealthy and suicidal lifestyle. We're fucking sorry that we are helping you. We are extremely sorry that instead of grieving for the loss of a son and a friend we are fucking caring about you. We are deeply sorry that we are interfering into your lifeless life and trying to drag you out of it. We are sorry that we find it horrible that a twenty three year old woman is wasting her youth in alcohol. And I am deeply sorry for fucking trying to be your best friend." Meera said the last part in a soft whisper, her voice sore from her rant. Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"You think it is easy don't you?" After some time Camellia said softly. "You think that I've not tried? Well let me enlighten you, yes I have, I have been trying for my entire life to move on. Even when my father lost himself to alcohol and became a fucking drunkard I said 'never mind, life goes on', I still moved on when he died and left me with my mum to pay his debts. Even though the very next day after he was buried we were thrown out of the house I considered home, I didn't give up. Still the case when my mum was sacked and we were left homeself. Still life goes on, when going to a new city where my mum got a crappy job instead of a decent one as promised. I refused to give up when life played dirty games with me. Having a cheque of fifty thousand dollars in one hand, dreaming about the possible things that we might enjoy and learning that my mum had the final stage of cancer and didn't tell me because she didn't want me to worry, didn't stop me from moving on. You know why? Because I had people who loved me. I had my mum and then Ace came. I gave him my heart. I loved him and was convinced that he will not leave me. And what happened? I was wrong. I was starting a family with him, I was going to have his baby. And the night when my baby was supposed to be born, I lost them. He left me and took along the baby with him. Now how do I move on?"

Camellia's eyes were red from tears. Her nose was running. She had tried to move on but couldn't find the strength to do so.

"You still have us with you." Meera said in a low voice.

Camellia gave out a dry laugh. "One thing I learnt is that in the end, everyone will leave you just like my dad, mum and Ace."

"Death is the only reality in life Camie, a harsh one but still a reality. We can't stop living if we fear that our beloved are gonna die. We can't let this fear overpower us and prevent us from loving." Meera continued in her low voice.

"I can't." Camellia simply said. She closed her eyes and put her head on her desk.

Meera got the sign that Camellia would not argue anymore. She walked towards the door, paused and said "So, I guess I'll have to ask David and Margaret to 'unlove' you and stop caring about you because you are afraid that they will die one day and will leave you." With that she left.

Camellia had realised thay she had hurt Meera and in some way her friend was right. She promised herself that she will try more to move on and will try to not hurt those who love her anymore. She will try to move on. She was strong enough.