Just Love Me

Chapter 22: Complicated

Chapter 22

"I deserve more than just a little part / I don't want nothing, if I can't have it all" Tamar Braxton - Pieces

[May]

Sparkle wrapped a section of my hair around the curling wand, creating more spiral ringlets. Sighing, I smoothed my hands down over the purple soft cotton sleeveless maternity dress.

Never in my life did I imagine I'd wear maternity clothing. But low and behold, I sat seven months pregnant and as big as a deep-sea animal.

Today wasn't a day for socialization. I'd rather be alone with my thoughts and memories.

"I really don't want to do this," I repeated for the hundredth time. Sparkle sucked her teeth, without responding.

I looked ridiculous in this purple whale cover they called a dress. My skin was speckled with dark pigmented blotches. Tay and Sparkle said the spots weren't noticeable but they lied. I rubbed my stomach pushing gently against areas. I paused waiting for the baby to respond but there was nothing.

I was almost convinced my baby didn't like me. It never kicked for me- or anyone else. Sporadically I'd tried to have a small conversation with it but it wouldn't move or hiccup or anything. It was so frustrating that I barely talked to my bump anymore.

But let me try to take a nap or get some sleep then all of a sudden I had a kick boxer.

"Are you almost done?" Taylor asked, coming into the bathroom.

"Give me two more minutes," Sparkle answered.

"Love, you look radiant."

Pouting, I rolled my eyes.

"She's had that stank attitude all morning." Sparkle popped my head with a comb.

"Cheer up. You have all your family and friends waiting in Sparkle's living room to celebrate the new life you're carrying."

"But I don't want to," I whined. "This baby shower is stupid, I look like Biggie Smalls girl twin, my skin is spotty and my feet hurts. I just want to go home."

I knew Sparkle was making faces behind me by the way Taylor was looking at her. I also knew they both were probably annoyed with me and my complaining. Neither one of them listened to me when I said I didn't want to have a baby shower. They said it was their duty as co-godmothers to throw me a party.

Sparkle hosted the event at her house and Taylor was responsible for decorations and food. I've been locked in Sparkle's master bathroom all morning, getting ready so I haven't seen anything.

"Love relax. Remember the doctor said stress isn't wise for Little Lotus."

"Little Lotus Carmelo can kiss my ass- Ow!"

"Sorry," Sparkle sang, sectioning off more hair. I think she burned me on purpose. Taylor's shoulders slumped forward slightly as she exhaled. She left the bathroom shaking her head.

Sparkle continued to curl my hair in silence.

I didn't, don't and wouldn't feel bad about my "attitude". Being pregnant and having to do things against your will was horrible.

"Finished," Sparkle announced, fluffing my hair. Standing up, I turned to look in the bathroom mirror. My lower lip trembled at the sight of my poufy mane. "What's wrong?"

"I hate my hair." I covered my face with my hands, weeping loudly.

"Bitch, you didn't even say- Nope. Forget it." I looked up in time to see Sparkle throw her hands in the air then leave, slamming the door. I'd clearly asked for Kelly Rowland at the 2012 BET awards hair. But she gave me 1930's Shirley Temple.