Just Love Me

Chapter 12 Part 2: Starting Over

Chapter 12 Part 2

"Now I can feel a change in me / And I can't afford to slip much further" Keri Hilson - Energy

Thursday

        I cuddled closer to the warm body beneath me. Rubbing my face against the smooth chest lined with coarse hair, I sighed in satisfaction.

Wait. Hold up.

        My eyes popped open and I looked at the bare chocolate chest I was laying on in shock. What did I do? With my mouth hanging open and eyes wide I looked and saw Dr. Parker staring up at me.

"I-I'm so sorry. I don't know," I scrambled off of him and sat on the side of the bed. Covering my face with my hands, I took a few deep breaths. I could've sworn that I fell asleep in the guest room last night.

How?

        The bed moved and Dr. Parker pulled my hands down from my face. "It's okay." I shook my head and tried to pull away from him but he held on. It seemed like all I ever did is mess up around him.

"I thought I fell sleep in the guest room," I mumbled looking down at my bare legs; just noticing I was only wearing the hospital t-shirt from yesterday.

"You climbed in my bed at midnight and asked me to hold you." I sighed loudly.

"Dr. Parker I'm so-" he released one of my hand to grip my chin. Gently, he lifted my head so we were making eye contact.

"Stop apologizing. It's cool, no harm done," he said calmly with a smile. "And call me Joe. You don't have to call me Dr. Parker when we're not at work, okay?" I nodded. It was strange, though.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I asked. He raised one eyebrow and frowned.

"Nice? I took you to the hospital and let you sleep in my guest room. I haven't done anything 'nice' yet. I'm being human."

        I was still unsure. My mama always said a helpful man is a horny man. I pulled away from him and crawled off his massive bed. My bed at home was large but his bed must have been made for Shaq or Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

"Thank you...Joe." I smiled shyly and left his room.

        My feet sunk into the carpet with each step I took, it felt so comfortable I could've laid out in the middle of the hallway. Instead, I went back to the guest room he showed me. Stripping out my clothes I wrapped the towel, Joe left for me, around my body and went into the adjoined bathroom.

        His luxury apartment was beautiful and surprisingly clean. Large windows in the living room area, a small but roomy kitchen with stainless steel appliances and the linens I slept on smelled fresh. Joe had definitely shocked me with the standard of his place. I wondered if he had a maid to help him clean.

Or a woman...

        Stepping into the shower, the hot pellets fell against my body in harsh dots. Nearly burning but not enough to wash away the variety of emotions swirling my mind. I felt beyond numb- if possible.

        This time last year I was happily married. I would have woken up in my husband's arms. I would be making breakfast for him. We would be laughing and texting all day in between meetings.

But now I had nothing.

        I used the Irish Spring bar soap, I found in the bathroom, to cleanse myself. Not from dirt but from these past weeks that have altered my life. Lathering from my neck down to my toes, I ran my hands over the small pouch I acquired from lack of exercise. My fingers spent time massaging my stretch marks hoping to wash them away. Even my weave got wet.