Just Love Me

Epilogue

Epilogue

"A part of me wants to leave. But a part of me wants to be here with you." Letoya Luckett - Torn

        Rick pulled up to a gate and punched in a code. We hadn't spoken since we left therapy. There wasn't much either one could say. He wanted his family. I wanted to heal. He thought our goals coincided. I thought they were total opposites.

        He drove up the long driveway, past a waterfall statue and a spacious green manicured lawn. We parked in front of a large house. It was so big and beautiful that 'mansion' was the only way I could describe it. I counted 13 windows on one side. It was a little smaller than Rick's parents house but still bigger than any residence I'd ever lived in.

        Rick exited the car first. His back pressed against the driver side door. I could see the stream of smoke coming from his cigarette. Before we left therapy he mentioned that he picked up the habit when he first left me. He said it was a good stress reliever. When I compared it to wine, we argued. Loudly. He took that opportunity to get his issues with me off his chest. So many things came out that by time we finished yelling at each other I'd used so many tissues that I thought the fake boobed secretary would have to make a CVS run.

        He called me a 'selfish self-sabotaging alcoholic.' He apologized afterwards but what's done is done.

        After five minutes of watching him smoke, I got out the car. Rocky was sleeping again. I put her baby bag on my shoulder then lifted her out of her seat.

"Are we going inside or what?" I asked, coming around the driver's side. I made sure to not come too close because second hand smoke can increase the risk of sudden infant death syndrome. Rick immediately put the cigarette out and smashed it into the ground with his toe.

        He dragged his feet on the walkway and up the three steps to the door. All his excitement and vigor from the morning was long lost.

       Shock and awe were my main emotions when he opened the front door. Shiny hardwood flooring. A crystal chandelier. Two-spiral staircases aligning the sides of the wall. Walking further inside, I peeked to the left seeing a fully furnished living room. Chocolate brown furniture against a mint green backdrop was what I envisioned in my dream house. I never thought Rick was listening.

        He showed me around the first floor. The kitchen was almost identical to his mother's with the two sinks, eight cap stove, two ovens and a three-door glass refrigerator. One shelf was filled already with Fuji water. It was an amazing kitchen any chef would love to cook in.

       He wouldn't show me the man cave, which was in the basement. I couldn't imagine what would be in there since the downstairs entertainment room already had all the game systems, an intensive DVD collection and 78 inch curved screen TV. The seating in the entertainment room was on risers creating a movie theater effect. It even had a section for kids that had toys and a colorful foam mat.

     We didn't go into the backyard because Rick said it wasn't finished yet. He was still adding more space to the house and he said that the pool needed a slide and a diving board.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the double doors that were tucked in the corner of the first level.

"A service elevator." Rick held my hand, pulling me towards the stairs.

"No way."

       I thought it was wallpaper but there was actually textured paint on the wall creating a floral pattern with golds, silvers and egg-shell colors swirled together.

       The second floor was just as beautiful as the first. There were three furnished guest rooms all with adjoined bathrooms. Then went up another level to the third floor. First we went into a pink and purple nursery room. R-A-K-E-L-L was spray painted on the wall in graffiti lettering and a silver sparkling tiara on top.