Fallen Demon

Back to the shadows.

Can’t believe I wrote another one
Thought I would let go with ease.
I’ve just needed to say somethings
But hopefully, this is my last, sad piece.
I would still be there for you but only if you let me
Be there to hold you, as far as time can take me.
Maybe even take some hits, take things your willing to share
Isn’t it what friends are for, even if we used to be more.
I sometimes try to sleep but all I see is you
And I wonder does she ever feel this too?
There were times I cried so bad and believe me it’s a first
I felt really really low, like fuckkkkkk almost felt like thirst.

Having you was a blessing but loving you is a curse
That could only be lifted by the witch who owned my verse.
You said I’ll never truly know you, but was it that bad to try?
Try to show you I’m here, that I didn't want to say goodbye.
The last thing I wanted was to be like everyone else
But it’s said eventually everyone faces their fears.
Thought I was finally special for someone I knew
But with the things you said…and did…
It can’t help to wonder if I even were anything to you.
I’m not sure if THIS is what’s called broken
But man this hurts just as bad
How I can’t even think about you without feeling sad.
And bruh it sucks so bad, I can’t even think straight
I get so nervous and I just hate my self-hate.

I hate that I miss you, I hate that I want you
Hate the way I feel, it all hurts without you.
I hate that I want you back, that I still care for you
And not quite sure why but I hate that I love you.
Sure, I could say that I want us to be like before
To become one, with feelings we can’t ignore.
And yea I’m not a fan of many other things
But despite all that, you put my dark soul at ease.
Some actually make me happy but some bring pain
But what I hate the most is that I would do it all again.
I would still give myself to you as pathetic it may be
I would still hold you as close as this dark bond lets me.
But I can’t say that because you were never mine
Tho I felt like I was worth something, It didn’t pass a dime.

You said that It’s not true, as if I’m lying to myself
And maybe your right but all I see is the wicked you saying it’s enough.
You said I feel for people who just make me happy
Like I’m a fucking baby who just needed love and some candy.
But all that crap isn’t me and will never be again
A demon that was once yours is never to return.
II loved you for reasons that I can’t even put to words
Fuck all that fairy tale shit, I fell hard for your very essence.
You thought I was there just for the heat and desire
For the dark connection, the high we gave each other.
But I was yours with no exceptions, with your cold and your fire
You failed to see that your “bad traits” are also things I admire.
I don’t know why I’m saying all this but maybe cuz I gave up
For reason being loving you, just wasn’t enough.

You took all my fears away but made them a reality
And all that I’m left with are memories of my sanity.
Wish you could read all this and tell me if I’m wrong
But I’m slowly drifting off and I’ll get there if I’m strong.
A dark place I’m getting used to seeing
To hide all my pain, emotions and my general dark being.
A place to accept my rejection by the only witch I loved
Let me just go back down with the feeling of being stabbed.
Back to the old place I once called my own
Back To the shadows where I was cursed to belong.
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-Lowkey poet