Harry Is Torn

I'll Look After You

When the phone rang the next morning, Harry looked at the number. It was Liam calling for the twentieth time. He thought about answering, but hung up instead. Talking to any of the boys would make him  think about Louis, which he didn't want to do anymore. He wanted his heart to move on, his mind to stop wandering and his body to keep moving, but they didn't. Harry was stuck. His body ached, and his heart was being torn apart more each day Louis was gone. Nothing could put the pieces back together. Nothing except Louis. 

After the boys visited him, Harry had thought about what they said. Maybe it was time for him to move on. For the past week, he hadn't listened to anything with Louis' voice in it. No songs, interviews or messages on his phone. It was the only way he knew to move on and it helped. However, something in the room was making him think of Louis again. He couldn't figure out what, but there was something there. He could have sworn Louis was sitting right next to him, but he knew that was impossible. Louis was gone. 

The feeling that Louis was in the room caused Harry to start crying. He knew it was impossible, yet his heart let him believe Louis was with him. He needed to hear Louis' voice once more, just to ease his mind again. After drying his eyes, he unlocked his phone. The picture of him and Louis caused him to cry again. Pushing through his tears, he searched through the phone for his music. He scrolled through all his playlists until he found the one labeled "<3 Our Songs <3." Opening up the folder, he searched through songs like 'He Likes Boys by Simon Battle', 'I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore by REO Speedwagon', 'Don't Let Me Go-Me', 'Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart-my version', 'I Wanna Grow Old With You by Westlife', 'Strong', 'Something Great', 'Half A Heart', 'Happily', 'Right Now' and "Something Great", until he found the one song that he knew would help him.

He selected 'Look After You-Bae's Cover' from the playlist. Tears filled his eyes as he heard the opening maracas start shaking. He closed his eyes and listened to Louis calming voice.

~*~

Louis smiled brightly and sat down beside Harry. He knew Harry couldn't feel him yet, but he reached out his hand and caressed Harry's check anyway. He ran his hand down Harry's arm, in hopes to comfort him. The look on his face made it clear that even if Harry couldn't feel Louis, he was finally finding peace. As the song continued to play, Louis cuddled close to Harry. Louis couldn't fight it anymore and began to sing. "There now, steady love," he began, softly, "so few come and don't go. Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know? When I'm losing my control, the city spins around. You're the only one who knows, you slow it down..."

"Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, be my baby..." Harry continued, completly unaware that Louis was beside him, "Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, be my baby. I'll look after you..." he started to cry again, "...I should have looked after you..."

"Shh." Louis comforted, hating to see Harry cry, "Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, you are my baby and I'll look after you."

After a moment, Harry smiled and continued to listen. When he finally calmed down, he relaxed his head on his pillow. Smiling at the sound of Louis' voice, Harry started to drift off. As "Don't Let Me Go" started to play, he closed his eyes.

"I saw in the corner there is a photograph." he sang softly, "No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you.
It lies there alone on its bed of broken glass. This bed was--"

"Always made for two!" Louis cried, wishing Harry could hear him.

The more the song played, the more Louis wished he hadn't hung off that cliff. He missed Harry. He wanted to take him back, but couldn't. To Louis, it felt like he had only been gone one day, but by the look on Harry's face and how thin Harry was looking he knew it had been longer for Harry. He looked at the calendar and saw that it had been three weeks. This was the longest he had been away from Harry, or at least the longest he had gone without talking to him. He was surprised how long Harry had lasted without him, but he could tell it wouldn't last much longer. He knew Harry was dying on the inside, but couldn't do anything about it. All he could do was watch his best friend, and one true love, give up. The song continued to play as he watched Harry fall asleep.

"Seems like these days I watch you from afar," he sang softly, "Just trying to make you understand...I'll keep my eyes wide open!"

He laid next to Harry so their faces met each other. He placed his hand on Harry's chest and held him comfortingly,  "Don't let me," he whispered,"Don't let me go 'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone." He watched Harry close his eyes and continued to sing him to sleep. "Don't let me, Don't let me, Don't let me go.'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone..."

Harry yawned and cuddled uner the blanket. "Don't let me," he whispered, "Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping alone."

As the song switched, Louis held him tighter. "I'm not going anywhere." he smiled, kissing Harry's forehead, "I promise."

Even though he couldn't hold Harry for real and Harry didn't even know he was there, Louis was okay with just being able to see Harry again, and hold him in his own special way. In that moment, they were both at peace.

~*~